Street_smart

Experienced Life
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Ezoic
2010-01-26 23:37:45 (UTC)

Been there done that

I have to say that if there was a worse year of my life, it
would have been 2009. Never have I faced so much turmoil
than in 2009. I survived somehow. It's funny how much a body
and soul can take. Not much suprises me anymore and I can
really say that I "don't sweat the small stuff" anymore.

As most other people in my age bracket, I've fallen in and
out of love, Been betrayed by my soul mate (or so I
thought), had several career changes and multiple different
degrees/diplomas/certifications.

I'm now a Network Engineer and finally found a job that I
both love and get paid well. In fact, my job was the only
bright spot in 2009.

Not really in the mood to summarize my 2009 life events
righy now. I'll save that for later. Since I just started
this diary, I'm going to take it slow and just put down
today's stuff.

Today, I got home and didn't find the kids and wife home.
Boy is 4 and girl is 7. Text the wife but no answer. Like I
said, I don't sweat the small stuff and if she was fooling
around, I wouldn't freak. I'm not a control freak. A simple
reply with an "we are ok" would have sufficed. Just wanted
to make sure nobody was in the hospital or in a car accident.

Wife also has a 19yr old daughter and 23 yr old son from a
previous marriage. Wife married young and got tagged at 15
or 16 yrs old. I used to hate her kids. The 19 yr old lies
so much and takes after her bio dad. The 23 yr old son is a
thief. Both were like this at an early age.

Since I had no legal right to them, I didn't lay down the
law. I tried to just lead by example. Tried to show them
what an education can get them, be trustworthy, honest, etc
but they instead thought I was easy prey. They stole, lied,
and ripped me off throughout the years. What losers. Glad
the 23 yr old finally moved out. (Yep 23 and still living
with Mommy. WTF??) 19 yr old does nothing all day except
text and eat. At 19, she looks to be about 60 pounds
overweight. Why do fat chicks like to wear cloths that show
their hips? Makes me want to puke looking at her.

Little did they see that they grew up to have little chance
in today's society. Stupid decision after stupid decision
keeps occurring and my wife bails them out of the jam they
put themselves in.

This of course trickles it's way to effecting me
financially. How I wish at times these losers just disappear
from our lives.

I wonder why I'm still with my wife. I guess at this age, I
get so battle worn that finding that "love of my life" is
just too much of an effort. Maybe it's because there are
still young kids that depend on us (mostly me) to provide
them a future so I feel obligated. Maybe it's because I
still like to screw as much as I can and the convenience of
not having to go hunting for sex makes me stay.

I'm so thankful for the friends I have. They stop at nothing
to back me up. If I ever need a place to stay, I have
several that will take me in no questions asked. No rent and
no rules. Not just for several days, I could stay for a year
and it would be ok with them.

I had a false CPS report called on me. While CPS
investigated, the report was so bad that they told me to
leave the home for 3 weeks. No investigation, no
questioning. I just had to leave. This was one of the many
things that I went thru in 2009. I know, I know.. I said I
wouldn't talk about it but it just came out so I'm leaving it.

Anyway, I called a friend and they gave me the keys to their
home. No questions asked. I have life insurance. I will make
sure to give some of these to my friends. haha, I'm sure my
wife will be pulling her pubes when she finds out.

Report turned out to be false and CPS closed the case. No
apologies from CPS. Just a closed case and tarnished my
character. Never been arrested before so this at first was a
very big thing for me.

Later, I found out that the report came from the 19yr old
(18 at the time) while she was with the school counselor.
She was having problems keeping her grades up in school so
the counselor asked if anything was wrong at home. Instead
of telling the counselor that she doesn't study and just
talks on the phone all day, my loving step daughter said
that I had been waving a gun around the house and shot up
the house! There were supposedly holes in the house from the
bullets that I fired and that was why she was having
problems keeping up in school.

This of course led to the counselor calling CPS and CPS
calling the cops to check out my home. Via telephone, CPS
told me to leave the home.

Forgot to indicate that wife and I are officially separated
since Jan 2009. Whats cool about this is that the marriage
timer pretty much stops. Anything I earn from Jan 2009 is no
longer marital property. It's all mine. Works both ways but
she is an uneducated Mexican so I don't see her making past
15 bucks an hr ever.

Love the two younger kids though. Hopefully I can stir their
minds to reach out and make something of themselves. This is
probably what keeps me going now along with how I love my job.

I'm ready to divorce. Wife now wants to reconcile. I don't
know what is going on in her head. I don't know if it's
because she realizes the grass isn't greener on the other
side of if I make good money and life with me will be
comfortable. I don't know how a soul can do the things they
do and still live.

Like I said, I lived through enough crap for two lifetimes.


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