blkdragon

grounded
2010-01-25 05:25:56 (UTC)

The End comes at the end

01/15/10--09:09:29 AM I think I just spotted another bird of
prey in my yard, smaller than the hawk, probably the size of
a Kestrel; so now I've become a bird watcher. Still mulling
Pretty's decision, knowing it's the right thing to do, she
needs to understand how she's feeling and why; as do we all.
Regardless of all that, we are of the same mind, I can't
begin to imagine her not in my life; the strength of the
bond we share. All of the things she mentioned warmed my
heart as well, the photo I told her that I like is one she
took in the very beginning of her relationship with Chris,
she looked healthy and pleased; her arms were bared and she
was wearing a skirt. There was a sense of confidence and
accomplishment about her, to say that she was attractive
would be an understatement, she was beautiful and serene.
Joshua called this morning, we talked about the check, he
was under the impression that I was hurting financially; I
may have led him to believe that and I'm only mildly
inconvenienced. We touched on the subject of Eddie getting
involved in Mike's personal business with his woman
Giselda(sp), he thinks I should talk with my Brother about
it, I told him that I would.
I went to the website to donate my car to a charity, I'll be
concluding that before the weekend is out, Hanifah is
supposed to come check out Paul's apartment today; I'm not
expecting her. Hanifah was also supposed to check out my
apartment when I moved into this one, almost 2 years ago,
she never showed then either. Talked with LeeAnn yesterday,
being nice, she lives too far away for me to express a more
personal interest.
Something tells me I won't be seeing Norma tonight, not
without her man in tow, I don't know that I want to see
Norma tonight or perhaps I'm hoping not to see her? Planning
to bring my extra copy of Interview to Nik in a bit,
hopefully I won't have a problem getting into the pool, not
planning to renew my membership if there won't be a swimming
pool available.
Called Kelly Svcs, referred by Hanifah before her hiatus,
actually; she got pissed at me because I wouldn't skate in
Jersey with her. If she wasn't so busy trying to learn to do
the things that everyone else is doing we'd be fine, if we
skated on a regular basis she'd become more adept at
responding to my touch, that would make our couples skate a
dance of spiritual significance; perhaps that growth would
be enough for her to learn more about herself and assist her
in maintaining an evolving relationship?
01/16/10--03:37:06 PM Got a call from Paula, Paul's people
left the key under my door, they were finished; they did no
cleaning whatsoever and that was fine with me. I told her
what I suggested to them, she's considering renting the
place as office space, might actually be something Duane may
be interested in. I took the bed out, in the process of
cleaning, something Paul never did; not even the
refrigerator and that may take a while.
Headed for the rink when I got a call from Hanifah, I'd
called her to suggest that she not bother being concerned
for this space, it isn't really a good spot for a woman;
regardless of the asking price. She didn't realize I'd
called her, she didn't bother putting my number in her phone
when she told me to call her on Thursday, all of these
things speak volumes about any possibility of a relationship
with her; possibilities I'd dismissed years ago. Hanifah
didn't bother to check her voice mail either, I said both my
name and the reason for the call, I told her whom I was and
not to worry about having forgotten our appointment; she
would then ask what I was doing today and I told her that
I'd be home for the day. Hanifah seemed to be suggesting
she'd call to come by, she then asked where I was and what I
was doing, she knew I was heading for the rink and I
confirmed her suspicions; told her we'd talk soon and ended
the call.
Another capacity crowd last night, spoke with the young man
in law enforcement, he'd comment that my being there made
him not look so good; I'd find that he now has another child
and I'll have to ask him to remind me of his name when I see
him again. Another young man approached to say hello, he
reminded me of his name, Van Winkle; his nickname is rather
obvious. We talked about his new skates, how much time he's
spending with his girlfriend, he didn't stay with me long
and I got down to what I'd come for.
Norma didn't skate last night, I didn't expect her to,
perhaps tonight; I'll keep my distance. There was an older
Black Woman skating last night, very polished carriage, very
attractive as well; I probably should have said hello and
didn't. As much as we may have been the same age, I think I
imagined being in her presence would be an admission of the
passing of time, my body and mind do not suggest the Autumn
years to me; I refuse to go mildly into seniority.
There were quite a few black people in attendance, probably
a birthday party, I'd run into and knock a brutha down hard
last night. The guy was on the rail talking to his girl, she
was seated on a bench, facing him; he pushed off the rail to
show her he could skate backwards and didn't bother to
concern himself with the fact that he was doing so in
oncoming traffic, mainly me. I was so incredulously pissed
off that I cross-blocked and pushed him, sending him
straight to the floor hard, I was so bothered by his
stupidity that I turned hoping he had a problem that I could
solve physically; he might have been hurt enough not to
consider responding and I kept skating. The stupidity of
adults, I expect children not to know enough to follow the
flow of traffic and for the most part they seem to
miraculously remain unscathed, adults on the other hand
should know better; they also should know that if you can
barely stand up speed will not be your friend.
Contrary to popular belief, when at the rink, I'm a skater
first; not a black man. After running into the fool, I sped
up, needing to work off the shock of colliding and the anger
fed by the ignorance of the (staff)management. I was hoping
like hell some fool made the mistake of getting in front of
me, after a few circuits I was tired enough not to care. A
brutha asked how long I've been skating, I'm never sure what
people are expecting to hear, that it took me half a minute
to develop this style/speed and timing; he told me he was
enjoying what he was seeing and I thanked him. I'd never
bothered to consider what I do to the extent that I would
suggest the music moving my feet, Lynne commented on a white
guy she saw in Virginia that reminded her of me, I'd sent
her a video of me skating in a gym; I know that the music
moves me to respond and I do.
I'd gone to see Nik and Cathy yesterday, a guy named Mark
was doing his laps, I told them I won't be paying to swim
until March; when the move should be complete. I talked
about Pelham and the barbers, Nik showed me pictures of
their New Years Eve outing, they both wore skin tight
apparel; Nik in something that appeared rubber and Cathy in
a dress that accentuated her weight. Nik's Brother had come
up and he was manning the camera, I think he was supposed to
coerce Keion to make Nik official, marry her before the
women in the Family take up arms; Nik didn't have an
opportunity to mention how Cathy and her Brother got along.
After meeting Alex, Cathy was smitten, Alex blew her off and
if she had sex with him during this recent outing; the
little bit of respect he may have had for her evaporated
shortly after he dried off.




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