blkdragon

grounded
2010-01-25 05:12:27 (UTC)

The First Laugh

01/13/10--09:11:11 AM I was very tired last night, in bed
just after 11, told Pretty I'd call her; sent a text and
hoped to speak to her while I prepared for sleep. I had to
go to the store yesterday and sent a text to Devon, I
stopped at his place before heading to the store, Colleen
was using a Swiffer steamer on the kitchen floor; as if an
old fashioned mop wouldn't have done the same job. Devon was
on the computer attempting to download a program, he wasn't
having much luck, even though he'd spent all the time I was
there on the download; after 2 hours I was heading out the
door. I'd play with the baby, give a couple of minutes to
Dahvion, Devon would suggest my downloading Office to my
flash; I thought I'd put the program on to find that I'd
only loaded the shortcut. I hadn't bothered taking the movie
I'd asked for last week, he was hoping I was going to
Wal-Mart, I wasn't and left him at his place; I went to
Pizza Hut and then the supermarket. I was supposed to go to
the Zoo for Pharaoh's food, got a call from Joshua, he's
putting a stop on the check he sent and is sending another;
we'll initiate the new phone account on the first of next
month. We talked about Charles, Nikki and his Mother, I'd
asked for his opinion of her; he sees her as a manipulator
and see his Brother as very weak.
When I recounted his Mother mentioning Charles telling Nikki
that their Mother would be the only one watching his Son,
Joshua commented that it was about time his Brother grew a
set. Joshua would also comment on how many times I used the
word realize in a sentence, I found that amusing, apparently
I'm realizing quite a bit of stuff.
01/13/10--10:16:15 PM I got out of bed this morning at 5,
began working out and didn't stop until after 7, finished 3
sets of the exercises I'd targeted and planned 4 sets of the
next grouping. I never got to the second grouping, got
side-tracked by a woman in need of companionship, I'd talk
with her for a few hours; I'd sent Lynne birthday flowers
last night and chatted with her first thing this morning.
Pretty sent pictures of Zoey, I learned she's Navajo and
they celebrate a child's first laugh, the pictures are
fantastic and Zoey is powerful; her light should only get
brighter. Night before last, Pretty asked why I had
mentioned her to Nik, I told her that Nik is like Family;
her specialty is Psychology and our discussions generally
tend to flow to a center. I was merely making a point that
she contested, I'd been proven correct, suggesting my powers
of observation and intuition were on target; Nik's knowledge
of Pretty isn't intimate. Pretty would then ask why I hadn't
mentioned Bernice to her, it sounded like I was on the verge
of being chastised, I keep nothing from her; she was too
busy with her life to have seen evidence of Bernice's
existence. Bernice, as I expected, was merely an exercise; a
physical chess game and she would eventually suffer
checkmate. The tone of Pretty's voice seemed to have
suggested a deliberation in the withholding of that
information, nothing could be farther from the truth,
although the thought of Bernice may have contained the
element of reality; at it's base there was no substance and
I never got to a point where the exchange was anything more
than a tug of wills.
Things may prove to be a bit different with Norma, other
than her being the same age as Pretty, we have no prior
history and Norma has a man; of course that didn't stop her
from being obvious in her attraction. I think Norma told me
that she has a 1 year old also.
01/14/10--02:26:44 PM I haven't done a bit of exercising
today, that was my plan though, I shaved and showered to run
a couple of errands. Paul's Niece appeared at my door, I
invited her inside, she told me that her Uncle had died last
Sunday night. She would also surprise me by telling me he
spoke highly of me and often, I told her that he was mean,
she told me that he was probably worse than I could imagine
and thanked me for being part of his life. She asked if
there was anything I may have wanted downstairs, I didn't
really, she seemed to want me to have something of his; I
told her that I'd take his heater. She asked about the
unopened food, I told her to leave it and I'd come for it
when they were finished, I'd planned to clean the place; I'd
called Joe to tell him what was going on.
I went to the bank for cash, went to the Zoo for Pharaoh's
stuff, spoke with the owner's Mother and returned home. I
stopped at the barber shop, I'd learned that the first two
hours at the parking lot across the street happens to be
free, Duane was happy to see me; a conversation about Pelham
would ensue that lasted a couple of hours.
Duane happened to play back a piece of music he'd composed,
we began another conversation about the programs he used to
make this music; what I was attempting to do; etc. Duane
showed me what Pelham was supposed to do for him, what was
wrong with the job, I reminded Duane of my response when he
asked about Pelham's work; he'd actually asked if I'd have
Pelham do anything for me. Duane was working alone for the
day, I had plans to go to the rink tonight, I needed to sign
paperwork at my loan company and they were close enough to
the rink for me to decide to roll. My discussion with Duane
was more productive than I'd imagined it would be, I gave
him Pelham's number and told him that I'd call him first, I
got no response; Pelham was supposed to fix the problem and
they hadn't heard from him since. Pelham never got approval
for the final product, they gave him an advance, we even
spoke of the guarantee Pelham included in the bargain;
laughable as it was. How in the world he could ever
guarantee the barber 20 clients was always a concern for me,
I wondered if it meant he'd get his hair cut that many
times, now he's missing in action and I think he owes them
money.
Just read Pretty's diary, also read her email to me
discussing the reasons we will be distanced from one
another, I understood the entry and agreed with her
decision; I let her know that I will be here when she needs
me. I now understand the tone of voice she used when asking
why I didn't tell her about Bernice, it certainly had
nothing to do with attempting to hide anything, Bernice was
never as important as she hoped she'd be.
Tonight at the rink would be different, I'd see a few
familiar faces, Jen (the Widow) skated; a couple of the
PPBoyz would skate as well. I'd once seen an episode of
Boston Legal, the lawyer, soon to be defendant suffered from
a condition that caused him to keep his hands on his thighs;
I noticed Benny (lead PPBoy) does the same thing while he
skates. He's taken to doing the stomp, it really looks
stupid, it's a noisy attempt to get noticed.
There would be a group of young ladies skating, I'd find
myself cutting through their group, they skated 4 abreast;
I'd dash between them when an opening permitted. My veered
dashes caused numerous responses, from giggling exclamations
to excited ooohs, I never bothered to register their notice.
I'd get flagged by an old acquaintance I'd recently thought
of, “hey you,” I headed straight for the exit off the floor;
it was Hanifah and her Sister. She sat with her arms wide,
“You need to stand up to hug me,” we embraced tightly; “I
was just thinking of you Monday.” We held each other at arms
length, maintaining physical contact, she introduced her
Sister to me; don't bother asking me her name. Hanifah
hadn't let go of me, we were both beaming big smiles, David
and Sheridan were already skating; Sheridan rolled by and
commented. “You're very popular tonight,” I didn't respond
to that, sounded too much like a cry for attention; earlier
another skater approached to shake my hand. We spoke
briefly, “happy to see you,” etc; the fact that Sheridan
bothers watching me interacting with others says more than I
care to listen to. I'd ask Hanifah about her phone number,
it was the same, her email was different; she had me call
her phone and leave a message. I don't want to skate the way
she wants, I'd prefer to improvise, let the music move us;
she needs to learn specific moves and I'm not down with
that. She'd point me out to her Sister all night, Dave would
wear out his welcome with them, she continued to watch me as
I passed the area they skated in. I'd learn that she left
her Husband, she's living with another man and they are now
just roommates, a recurring theme in her relationships; she
suggested that she's spoiled and I didn't bother responding.
Its apparent that she has issues being alone, those issues
aren't addressed by the amount of men she apparently goes
through, I refuse to add myself to that list.
Like Charlotte and probably Tanya, Hanifah is spoiled, not
used to being refused by men; her assets are purely
physical. Most men could care less what's in the box, they
merely want the box, it's like Christmas; 15 minutes later
you don't remember you opened a box. I don't need many
different boxes, one lovingly wrapped will do, nothing fancy
and packaged just right. This is the type of box you unwrap
as lovingly as it was wrapped, it's simple in it's
construction but completely unique, the contents will
consistently spark the imagination; ensuring a continuous
bi-play resulting in mutual enjoyment.




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