The Secrets of Gwen Rose
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2010-01-25 04:00:19 (UTC)

When I hurt

I don't understand my boyfriend at all sometimes. After all
we just went through he still just can't for one night stay
home to talk to me. I was so scared yesterday when we stood
in that mall bathroom waiting for the test to give it's
results. I'm happy I wasn't pregnant but it flashed me back
to December two years ago, when Troy and I were still just
friends and I was pregnant with his best friend's kid. I
miscarried. I wanted that kid so bad, but the child I
thought was growing in my until last night I wanted more
than anything. I know Troy is my soul mate, and honestly I
wish we were older so we could get married already. I want
to finish school and have stable jobs. I want a baby so
bad. I want Troy to just understand that right now all I
need is him. I'm tired of being scared that he thinks I'm
too clingy. I think about breaking up with him sometimes but
I already know that my life would be so terrible with out
him. I need him. He gets my soul and my fire. I'm just so
lost right now and I don't know how to tell him.

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