A daily confession
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2010-01-23 10:42:29 (UTC)

present 1

I have this 'old' (2004) Q1 camera and after it was chewed
by a dog has been used for a long time I had it in a
drawer. I had now much better digital cameras... So when
my almost 3 year old son found it a few months back, I
found it cute how he would run around with it taking
pictures of everything. I decided to make it his first
It was bought by S.
But it is mine... As it was a gift...
As there were discussions before that, like - this is no
toy for a not quite 3 year old, a.s.o. I would take it
away and hide it and give it to N only when S was not
around. Yesterday I failed to do that and promptly we had
a fight on our hands. But i had no desire to back down...
The camera is mine. And althought I took it away the
instant the fight started and N started to cry and was
really upset and hid in his room, I fully intended never
to have to take it from N again after I'm done with the
discussion with S.

S accused me that at the time he bought this camera for me
I just grabed it and practically forced him to buy it for
me. I remember the incident very well. Yes it is true I
grabed it from a special offers basket because I loved the
camera so much, it was cute and I bought one for a
daughter of S friends before and I loved it. The camera
cost £49.90. I asked him politely if it is ok to buy it
for me as he made a nasty comment about me just taking
something and tossing it into his basket in a shop. He
made some more negative comments and I grabbed the Camera
and put it back in the special offers basket I would
definately not beg for it. He said I behave like an idiot
and a child and put the camera back into his basket. He
said it is ok and that he didn't mean to say it so
negativly the thing about me showing some initiative if I
want something. With many more nasty comments it was
bought and it was mine. I thanked him a thousand times for
it and apolagized even more for just taking it.
Everytime he saw the camera he reminded me how I forced
him to buy it. It took the joy of the camera away and I
made hardly any pictures with it.

I always asked when I wanted something, I always said
thank you. I never took any even very small thing as
granted and I refused 80% of the stuff he wanted to buy
for me. He did not want me to work and so I had no own
money. He would never give me any pocket money apart from
10 or 20 pounds/euro whatever. And mostly he needed small
change at some point during the day and asked for it back
and I was left with the promise that he would give me back
more later. Which never happened unless I asked him to
give me money because it would be a bit scarry to have no
money at all on me. So he would give me again 10 or so.

Yesterday I had enough of that one incident where I did
not ask before choosing. I checked how much the pound was
to the Swiss Franc and gave him his CHF 82.-. It left S
speechless and he threatend me to be carefull what I was
doing and that I would end badly. When asked if he would
hit me or knive me again he said of course not you
scandalous woman, but I will leave you forever! My answer
to that was then please pack your stuff and leave. I don't
want you here anymore.
After that I took the camera and gave it to N as a present
declaring it loud and clear his. N is so carefull with it
and loves it so much. So why not? If it breaks because he
is still small and sometimes makes mistakes I would buy
him another cheap little digicam and I would not get angry
or regret it if that one breaks also.

Of course as the perfectionist S is he demanded to see the
pictures and when he saw them and N cut heads and did not
center the pictures correctly he called him an idiot and a
retard and said that the pictures have to be erased. And
that it is a waste of the battery to give N the camera. I
found the pictures so funny and artistic and I thought I
would make an online album of N's first pictures. I'm sure
in 20 years it will be funny and nice for N to see what he
did at the age of 2 or 3.

In the end the incident left me angry sad and almost
speechless. I really pay for everything double that that
man gave me.

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