password101

Me Myself and I
2010-01-21 01:51:39 (UTC)

get to know me

hey, its kind of weird using this website. it's not as
original as using a real notebook but it'll work. so i'm
in middle school and a complete wreck. i cant seem to
control myself in terms of pro-ana. i just recently found
out that pro-ana means lifetime anorexia. which i am
totally against. i want to have kids and a husband and i
know anorexia is horrible but i just want to do it for
right now. i've been suffering from it since i was 11. i
guess i didnt feel good enough and wanted to be like
everyone else. i want control so bad. i have this appetite
that's so unnatural. i want to be able to look at food and
feel higher. i know u're probably reading this and
thinking, what a fool? but u dont understand! it's not a
choice. i need help that will go in my mind. if that makes
sense. i want to be like the girls i see on TV and on the
streets and places like that. i want to be a runway model
and none of them look happy but when i look at them and i
look at myself in the mirror, i dont look happy either.
it's too late to change anything. i hate the boney look. i
dont want to be all bones. that's not attractive. i wish i
could control myself so i could be thin. i never want to
be below 100 pounds. 110 or 115 is my goal. and a size 0.
i know it's a mental illness but really, you have to
understand, i feel like i was born into it. so there it
is. that's my life. thats not the whole thing of course.
and if you're like me, i'll help u too. be strong and keep
motivated. keep your eyes on what u want the most.





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