mood swings
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2010-01-20 18:28:41 (UTC)

the guy im inlove to

there is a guy i really like oh not just like but i really deeply crazily inlove with this guy i know he is older than but i find his white hair sexy age doesnt matter i love his maturity but i love how childish he is... im crazy i know... i want be with him i like to see myself wake up one morning that he is beside me sleeping, i love staring at him when he is sleeping one time i wish i was super rich girl so i can keep him somewhere... im totally possesive about him i dont know if its healthy or not....

but i have deepest problem about thim all along this i know he is married guy damn for Christ sake this is most biggest sin i ever made but i cant stop loving him everyday it growsss... i dont know i can sense that he really love this woman she gave the best gift a woman can offer to a man his virginity something i dont have and something i cant give anymore it was damnly taken away from with someone dont love... im not successful as she is... Insecurity I never felt to anyone and damn there few girls claiming him uh oh this way damn depressing it kills me and torture me so much

There are things I want to keep it to myself I don’t want my mom to know it. It would make her sad... I feel sad and depress everytime I think about it... I keep myself looks happy but inside I’m not I’m hunger and longing for something I don’t know if I will ever be with him and become his wife, mother of his children, his happiness, his friend his everything... This won’t happen not until he made a decision to work on his annulment and ask me to marry him...

Until now I don’t give up on my hopes for him but I know how long I will wait and hope I don’t know how long I will endure this pain... All I know right now is I love him so much

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