kyliemcsmiley

kyliemcsmiley
2010-01-19 12:48:12 (UTC)

No 2. Progress?

So this is my second post, i had to take a sleeping tablet
again to get to sleep last night.

Great start to this post isn't it? I completely freaked out
yest and i just don't know why. I told Dan how i felt and it
was like he just didn't get it, it made me feel frustrated
because it was like he didn't understand why i felt how i
did and it felt like he was thinking i was being over
dramatic or stupid about the whole thing which made me feel
upset and i totally took it out on him. I snapped, ignored
was overly sarcastic.

He took half day at work so we could spend some time
together before i go back to work and we planned on cooking
a roast from scratch but i was just a complete bitch all
afternoon. Until we got home from the supermarket and i
thought to myself what am i doing? Why am i acting like this
on time we're supposed to be enjoying together..
I know exactly why i did it, it was a defence mechanism but
i need to learn to let Dan in and not to block him out like
i have blocked everyone else out in my life.

After i realised that it was a nice night, we made all the
food which tasted great. We even made the gravy from scratch
which i think it quite impressive lols.

I'm starting to feel better about the whole situation
though. I'm starting to feel a little better with myself and
although it will take a long time to get any sort of
confidence at least i feel like i can smile a little bit.
x




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