im becoming home sick already it hasn't even been one week :o.
i guess im not used to living with people younger than me
(Kids). Well im also worried about my mummy. I wonder how
the move back to our old house went, im worried about her
inside she tells me shes okay but im her daughter and i can
see through her.
My mum is like my best-friend. I Tell my mum EVERYTHING. (i
mean everything) && the stuff i get up 2 , it's amazing she
hasn't had some kind of heart-attack yet.
My dad though on the other hand , is a down right asshole.
My whole life as a kid im glad i didn't understand half the
things i heard him say or id turn out to be a pretty messed
My dads an alcoholic , he has OCD (obsessive compulsive
disorder)and hes a complete fuck-wit.
Its incredible how i haven't charged him or put an AVO out
on him yet.
When i was just a baby my mum used to put my brother and
sister and me in the car and just go driving anywhere,
because my dad would come home drunk or violent.
Sometimes people don't believe me about my dad , they say oh
Kelsey he can't be that bad. Then they meet him.
I've had friends that are to scared to walk into my street
because of my dad. Thats fucken pathetic.
I try so hard with my dad and im the only one in my family
anymore that does it's actually weird because out of the
whole family im the one who he treated the worst.
I'm a singer and i try so hard just to do my best at it no
matter what song i sing,write or play. But nothings ever
good enough for him. :(
I think i wasted so much time trying to get him to be proud
of me. And all this time I've wasted it all.
There was some few upsides to being at my dads. I was
allowed to drink, have all my friends over,stay out, throw a
But my dad thought that buying me things is how to show that
he cares or loves me. Its not, && it gets fucken old.
The only escape i had was being on msn or hanging out with
my friends. The ones i had left anyway. :(
The group i choose to hang around with are sometimes not the
best people in the world. && i turned bad with everything
going on. I didn't want to but i had no choise.
And after everything that happens with them i cant seem to
get over the fact that i lied to my parents more than once
or went out at night and did stupid things.
I've done some pretty bad things in life that people dont
know about and they wont find out about either. I would
rather the past stay the past.
As for school, omg there was a fucked up fight everyday!!
So stupid like, this bitch spreads a rumor and you loose
respect from everyone you know without them even knowing the
real story. everyone just jumps to a conclusion to entertain
them selfs or involve themselves.ITS FUCKEN PATHETIC!!
But i always seemed to get away from it whenever i wrote a
song or sang something, it was like i got into my own little
world and nobody else could distract me from it.
There was always the real friend though, the ones who stayed
by my side even when i had a spazzy ha ha :)
I guess they like my spasticness . :D
maybe they're just used to it. :o lol
There was always this one person out of all of them though.
This person was ALWAYS there for me , sometimes people
couldn't see but, he was there for me no matter what.
I sometimes would be angry and take it out on him but he
never got mad. He knew what id been going through. He's a
real good friend && we did everything together.
Every-night we would call each other && talk for hours
nonstop about stupid shit. :)But i loved it. 3
We also went to our year 10 formal together, it was a night
i will never forget. :)
I was so happy when at the end of the night we kissed and
people asked OMG ARE YOU GUYS GOING OUT, and i could
actually say yes we are :D and smile about something i
really cared about. && i then knew i would remain happy. :)
anyway i g2g cousins want to go to surfers paradise but i
dont HEADACHE :( cyaa.
xx Kelsey xx
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