Lahlahrouh

A daily confession
2010-01-11 13:39:16 (UTC)

past 2

Most of the things I remember from my early childhood are
feelings and scents. Some good and pleasant and some
scarry and sad.

I know that I liked my mothers scent very much it was as
every scent unique. She smelled fresh and of flowers.

A memory I have is the dresses my mother made for me. with
ribbons and bands. very girly and very pretty. I remember
a brown dress with beige ribbons and a green one with
white ribbons. There was also a red one and a summery one
wich was blue with small flowers on it. I loved these
dresses, they made me feel like a princess. I would always
look at them in the cupboard. I think I was only allowed
to wear them when there was a special occasion, but for
sure I do not remember that. This is a very happy and warm
memory.

But there are others too... I don't remember how old I was
but I remember nagging my mother for some reason and she
was typing a letter for my father and I was sitting on
that huge rubbish bin she had next to her desk. I kept
asking things and I know that my father told me a few
times that I should be quiet and that I have to wait. it
probably only took 10 or 15 minutes but to me it was an
eternety... Being 4 or 5 years old I did not want to wait
very long. I must have kept asking questions... I don't
know how it really happened but my father suddenly got
terribly angry and hit me so hard I went flying in the
cupboard one meter behind me. The shelves with the
envelopes, papers and filefolders came crashing down on me
and I remember my mother screaming and my father yanking
me out of the cupboard blaming me for the mess. I was
tossed out of the room and probably went totally shocked
crying somewhere. I however do remember that my mother
stayed with my father finished the letter and cleaned up
the cupboard as not to anger my father further...




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