juliann and i have never really been "rich" since we've
known each other. actually we've been what i like to call
"almost broke." we always manage to replenish our funds
just as they hit their low point. really i guess i didn't
expect much else at this position in life. when you spend
a god awful amount of money on education, you get to where
we are. cash broke but spiritually rich. hmmm, definitely
sounds better on paper.
i've always wondered why more people don't open up their own
businesses. 3 months into opening my law firm i know why.
the regulations are sickening, the tax code is opaque, and
of course, your hemorrhage money and time just starting the
stupid thing up. so right now we are again at a precipice.
we are pretty broke and then next 15 day window is kind of
bleak. but after that i start work for my first client and
our funds will once again be replenished (hopefully never
again to see another precipice!).
but of course i couldn't resist at least going out for black
friday to people watch. it was made clear to me that noone
was going to work thanksgiving "week" (that's right, 'week'
not 'day'), so i figured i might as well enjoy myself.
my first stop was target. the parking lot was a fucking
madhouse. white-knuckled drivers feverishly looking for a
spot, any spot! i was walking to the store when i got
honked at...i was like...what the fuck? i turned around and
this lady was waving at me like crazy to come to her car
"are you leaving?"
"damn." she muttered and floored it.
oh it was on like donkey kong.
in the store i noticed an unbelievable mass of people, it
felt like india all over again. only everybody had a
fucking latte in their hand. now caffeine and neurotic
individuals looking for deals go together as well as sex
offenders and sorority girls. people were ABSOLUTELY
INSANE. pushing each other, shouting at each other,
jostling each other, and finally, of course, reaching for
the same fucking piece of merchandise at the same time and
then locking horns.
i sincerely hope that all employees get paid triple overtime
on black friday. people were so fucking rude to them. it
usually resulted when someone didn't know exactly what they
wanted but expected the employee to somehow read their mind,
here is a conversation i overheard between a middle-aged
woman who clearly didn't know waht she wanted and the
flabbergasted target employee:
"you know...one of those thingies...with the.....(hum) with
the antennaes for chrissakes!!!" the lady screamed at the
target employee all the while here hands making the motion
as if she were choking the life out of an invisible
"ah-i'm sorry ma'am...i really don't know what you mean..."
a quite reasonable response as there were maybe hundreds of
'antennae like thingies' in the store.
"ARGH!" she threw here hands up in frustration, "it gets
radio signals, i think it plays radio songs!!!"
"a radio?" he offered helpfully.
she stared at him like bloody murder,
"son...if i had wanted a radio i would have said a radio, i
want one of...oh just forget it! i'm going to find someone
i then went to best buy where people were losing their minds
before i went to walmart. at best buy people were alking
around with newspaper ads like zombies in a maze...staring
glassy-eyed up at huge displays trying to match the product
in the brochure to the product on the shelf for MAXIMUM
here was another exchange there:
"do you guys still have the 500 gig external harddrives for
"oh no sir, i'm sorry but we opened at 4 am and those were
all gone by 4:15"
"whaaaaaaaat? you've GOT to be KIDDING me!!!" the guy said
in a rage that was truly unwarranted,
"you have got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!"
"ummm, i'm sorry sir...but those were a hot item."
"i KNOW they were a hot item, why do you think i drove out
here?" then he stopped for a second and his eyes narrowed to
a slit, "do you have any more in the back?"
"no...i'm sorry we're all out."
"oh COME ON!!! you guys always have more in the back...don't
you want to make some money!?"
and then came walmart. i thought best buy and target were
horrible but walmart was just uncanny. first of all the
parking lot was like thunderdome. anything went. people
would dart in and out of parked cars...stand in spots to
save them, and of course my favorite, ram their fucking
shopping carts into cars because they were too lazy to put
them back in the shopping cart holder.
so i got inside and the first thing that happened was an
elderly lady (about late 50s or so) with frizzy white hair
and open sores and what appeared to be a layer of dust on
her face (you coudl tell she didn't get out much)RAMMED her
shopping cart into my heel. it hurt like a motherfucker.
i whirled around in pain and i swear to god her face was all
malice. she looked like she was ready for the motherfucking
rapture. i stared at her mouth slackjawed expecting some
sort of humanity...maybe an "i'm sorry?" but she glared at
me with hatred, then...SHE WHEELED HER CART AROUND ME LIKE
SHE WAS AT THE INDY 500 and took off to get THE LAST DVD
PLAYER on a rack!!!! she held it like it was pure gold and
a glee that made me sick.
wow. just wow. this video tells it all. a PREGNANT WOMAN
was knocked to the ground.
we are all animals...it only takes a little bit of a sale to
bring it out in us.
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