down in my eyes
the sleeping prince.
This diary is brilliant. Within its archives, contains my documented journeys down to the center of my life. Incredible. But enough with this appreciation of a blogger. I'm awake. & This happens nearly everytime I attempt to sleep early. I wake up at like 4 in the fuckin' morning & then I can't sleep for another couple hours. Most days, I don't even sleep til 3 or 4 in the morning. But then I sleep peacefully for a full 8-9 hrs, given the chance to. I should just stop fightin' it. I'm a night owl. Always have been & prob always will be. & constantly reminiscing, I am. Jenny Aydelott. My best friend from elementary school-high school. But 9 years later, she's still not trying to reach Me? I've lost her, once again. & this time, probably for good. I'm tired of fighting & searching for her. But I can't seem to fight thinking of her. She's the happiest depressed girl you'll ever know. I believe she has the will to live. Otherwise she wouldn't have lasted this long. But I also believe she'll die young. She's never 'wanted' to live. & she's always hated life, itself. She's seemingly incapable of being truly happy. & at this point, with no way to contact her, its Out of my hands to Save her. I can hope- bt i'm not sure if anyone can.
I use to share her views on life. Seeing the next starry night sky, use to be nearly my only motive for my shaken heart, to carry on til tomorrow. The beauty that glistens, in the blackest of the night. Then I met 'Him.' My everything. My imperfect hero. My sleeping prince. 3 years ago, I never knew there was a cure to my inevitable sadness. But, Oh, It Is Love. A couple days ago, he told me that I'm his favorite girl in the whole wide world. My dreams may have already come true. When I was growing up, I use to sneak out at all hours through the night- most times, I'd simply lay out on the driveway & wish upon the stars. & the brightest star that night, would receive my greatest wish of all.. & oh, it is love. Is this real? For, the man 'I' love more than I could ever explain, believes "I" am his favorite girl in his whole world? & he treats me great. Not exceptional- but, great. My love may be imperfect in a dozen ways.. But he Is my dream come true. 3 yrs in the making- but, here. Atlast.