nin137

Nick's Journal
2009-10-20 17:16:31 (UTC)

I passed the Bar

there really is no way to describe the feelings that coursed
through my body as i sat underneath a large tree on the wet
lawn holding the letter from the local bar association in my
hand.

to say i was nervous would be an understatement. i had just
returned from india (3 week vacation on which i will write
next), i had not really slept for 2 days; i was entering
that phase of hallucinogenic delusions where smell and
hearing combine in an odd cacophony in your mind.

there i sat underneath the wet tree, large drops of
collected rain would occassionaly splash down upon my knee
and head. originally i had planned to go all the way down
to the water where i normally went with my dog, but then i
realize that that was at least a 15 min walk. i was in this
odd position of needing to know but not wanting to.

finally i tore the envelope open. the first word i read was
"court" (actually i just happened to glance at it as i was
closing my eyes [why i do that i have no idea, but i do when
i am nervous about smoething, i want to see it all at once])
it was then that i knew i had passed. court = swearing-in
ceremony.

the feeling of euphoria that accompanied this realization
was beyond anything i'd ever experienced. i was finally
done! i did it! and as i walked back in the heavy drizzle
i couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. i'd never had a
test like this before in my life. one that stood as such a
stark barrier between me and my future.

but i passed it. and man, do i feel relief now. of course,
there are next to no jobs available and now i am to embark
on my dream job. opening up my own law firm. there are
many attendant concerns i have with this, but the largest is
out of the way.

thank god.