nin137

Nick's Journal
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2009-08-31 22:59:32 (UTC)

Runnin' Down a Dream

i always get two responses when i tell people that i plan on
opening my own firm. awe, followed by a bit of bemusement;
or complete skepticism (i.e. a "hater"). there are few
issues that i feel passionately about: breed ban legislation
and gay marriage; i can argue those two to no know end and i
know i will win an argument. one thing i have always felt
passionately about is being my own boss. i work best when i
am just given a task and then you just let me complete it
(INTJ all the way bitches!).

but when i am faced with the skepticism and bemusement i
can't but help to feel: "is this a bad idea?" it's really
odd, and that definitely floats in my mind a lot. but i'm
one of the lucky ones. i have a spouse on government pay
and i get government health insurance. we don't have any
kids, only a dog that acts like one...if i fail i fail.

juliann always tells me that i'm not risk averse enough. i
never really thought it but i have a pretty high tolerance
for risk. and that's not necesarily a good thing if you're
passionate about a certain thing that isn't too good of an
idea.

anyway, wow those last three paragraphs felt like a
self-love fest. oh well, i need some encouragement.

other than that, i've been playing tour guide most of my
free time. this is actually a great time in my life, i am
at a stage that is a true (and maybe the last) "in between"
stage. i can do nothing but wait and hang out...how many
times does life give you that opportunity?

so i have been enjoying this past month. i've walked with
my dog, gone gambling, gone hiking, and just had a great old
time.

is it just me or does modern music really suck? i don't
know, maybe i'm just old or whatever, but god damn the stuff
i hear today really sucks. i don't know i just really enjoy
the Traveling Wilburies - Handle me with Care. it's just a
melodious song.

there are two poems that i will admit to liking: My best
friend Dave's poem to me and Juliann during our wedding and
Bob Dylan's Last Thougths on Woodie Guthrie. those were
just the two best poems i've ever heard.

i feel really anxious at times, yet then there are just
these moments of total bliss that make life great. i hope
that this works.


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