Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
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2009-08-17 16:11:53 (UTC)

Never a smooth sail..

To update from my last entry..

I spoke to my father about the shit that's going on between
my mother and I. A lot of the things he had no idea was even
going on. He constantly saw us bickering at each other, but
he never knew why or never heard that hurtful shit she says
to me in private.

I won't be able to move anytime soon. He said we live in
Toronto for the universities. I told my father that woman
and I argument one more time, I'm out.


Yesterday I checked my email to find that I had received an
email from an ex-boyfriend.

Him and I were pretty close friends before we decided to
start dating. While we dated he was behaving differently or
he just didn't know how to be in a relationship. He blamed
me because I never told how and how not to act. I felt I was
in no position to tell him how to be because I felt like I
was molding him into someone that I wanted him to be - I
didn't want that.

In his email he mentioned to me that we haven't been talking
for about 10 months. I paused for a minute. IT HAS BEEN 10
MONTHS! HAHAHAHA What a funny guy. He is keeping track,lol.
Honestly, to me it feels like it's been over a year and more.

I've moved on the minute we stopped talking. Actually, I
moved on while we were still together.

Basically in the email he sent, he wanted us to 'continue
our amazing companionship' and that he 'wanted to apologize
in person because I deserve it'.

I don't want to.

I've moved on.

I keep dramatic people away from me. My life like is smooth
sailing and he's just going to ruin it for me again.

So I'm thinking of just emailing him and kindly telling him
that it's big of him to want to apologize, but I can't be
friends. There is going to be too much tension that I cannot
just put behind me. I can't sit on the problems we had and
smile like nothing happened.

Is that the right thing to do?
I don't know, I'm stuck.

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