All that is
Ad 2:
2009-07-19 20:34:14 (UTC)

that dream

Here's the dream i talked about a few weeks ago:

"...i was at school, or in a school. a class room anyways,
and he was the teacher. he was sat on a desk, talking
about something. i was behind him, or like beside him,
trying to touch his leg i think, or thinking about/wanting
to, but cos he was a teacher, he wasnt responding.

i think i know what this dream might have meant.

"i was touching his leg (or thinking about it) and he
wasnt responding cos he was a teacher...."

did it mean that the age gap between us would come in the
way of his affection for me?

or his maturity level would come in the way or mean that
he wouldnt respond to me emotionally in the way i wanted.

well the fact that he was my teacher i think symbolises my
view of him - more mature, intellectual, experienced and
wiser. the fact that i was sat beside him trying to make
contact, without response means maybe that i desire to be
his equal, but this isnt possible because of his maturity,
intelligence, life experience etc.

but if i was sat behind him then maybe that's my
projection of how he sees me - not as an equal but as
something less. less mature, less intelligent, etc.

or maybe it was more about emotional intimacy, rather than
intellect. that he wouldnt be emotionally available to me
perhaps. i was touching or wanting to touch him, and he
wasnt responding..

or his work would get in the way of him being emotionally
available to me..?

or maybe im ranting now and this is all a bunch of mumbo

but then again.

but either way though, this dream makes so much sense now.