Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
2009-07-18 23:13:06 (UTC)

Gym Day 7

So I went with my dad to the gym today. He wasn't very
energetic and I was tired, but we got through it. I even
did three sets of the stupid dreaded step-ups with a
twenty-five pound weight (as if doing step-ups with an
overweight body isn't hard enough, let's add more
weight!). We did a pretty complete weights set of three
reps of each exercise and at the end, I got my weekend
protein shake (so tasty!). My turn to buy them next week.

I'm pretty happy with this, except that I looked in the
mirror today at one point and started cursing myself
again. I'm trying hard to keep it in the steel box but
it's not working. Unfortunately, it happened outside the
gym, so it's harder to control in that setting. I can
block out looking like a fool in the gym, but earlier in
the day I looked in the mirror and thought I looked pretty
good, then later on, all I had was a stream of invective
towards myself about it. So...not sure what I can do
about that. Still trying to ease up on myself but it
comes on so strongly and suddenly at times, I can't seem
to help it. And there were a few tears. Not good at
all. Anyway. Trying to stop that now.

Went with my mom to part of the Beaches Jazzfest today.
More specifically, we went to the Beaches. (I refuse to
call it "The Beach" as the area voted to call itself.
Stupid.) The Jazzfest was happening a little farther down
than where we were, so we are going again next weekend to
the other part of the festival. It's such a great area.
We just walked on the street and stopped in some of the
quaint or interesting stores, I bought her a coffee and a
frozen hot chocolate for myself along with a bagel (I was
hungry after working out!) and we had a good time.

Had some stupid rage issues when I came home, but masked
them alright from everyone. I'm just ... having some
space issues, I guess. As in, I need my own and it seems
like it's never ever going to happen the way I want it
to. I'm sure it will...I just don't see how or when.
It's very fucking depressing.

I bought some refills for my pen this morning and a set of
seven small notebooks that I adore. They are each the
same size, but different colours, and with a different
kind of paper in them. Now, I just need to find something
creative and interesting to write in them. Ideas,
anyone? I thought I'd write one story from seven
viewpoints, but not sure if that will work or not. Send
ideas forthwith!

Going out in a few to try and track down some Beatles
piano music. I sound upbeat but I feel a little sad.
Hopefully doing something out of the house or musical will
lift my spirits a bit. As if I haven't been out of the
house all day!

On my way shortly. More later.

Until then,

K2




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