All that is
I tend to notice Cancers on an almost psychic level, we
often fall on the same wavelength right away. Couple of
years ago, when I stumbled over a Cancer. I wasn't even
into astrology back then, didn't know the sign, but there
was definitely strong connection present. The Cancer was
(and still is) a bit shy, definitely a person on the
creative but very antisocial side. An excellent artist
with great imagination and razorblade-wit. Bothered by
health and other people. An eccentric person that I've
been drawn to magnetically. Never talks about her
feelings, I've been so intrigued by that enigma, it's like
a puzzle. We're still good friends, yet I feel that even I
am kept on a distance.
Another Cancer and I clashed, but found our agreement
almost right after that. In fact, that was also a pretty
decent bond, although somewhat of a peculiar
friendship/union. This Cancer is more talkative, very
unintentionally funny and happens to like me. There is a
certain submissive stroke to the Cancer, and I feel more
like I'm being worshipped and looked up to instead of
spoken to on a mutual and equal level. That Cancer sure is
a lot of fun. It feels nice to be noticed and needed.
There's a third Cancer who also ended up on the whole
submissive streak, looking up to me instead of standing on
equal level. A very talkative, honest and sentimental
Cancer. A bit too sentimental at times. I have fun talking
with the Crab though. We discuss all kinds of things, and
it falls naturally to express inner emotions. Almost like
talking to a bartender.
I also have a tendency to think a lot about Cancers I meet
or see, before I even know about their sign, obviously.
There is some kind of magnetism.
so, i met declan the other day. on friday evening to be
exact. and he's a mad man. lol in the most charming way of
course, or else i wouldnt be writing this.
there was a slight hiccup at the start though - i was
late. what's new, right? thing is, he texts me saying meet
me in swiss cottage in half an hr. just like that. all
brash. like he's used to girls just attaining to his every
demand, (which im sure isnt far from the truth). so i say
call me. and he does and i explain that i'm on my way
back - im not im home but i still need a bit of time to
get ready. and so he says ok, just text or call me when ur
there... and thats that. so i start getting ready. thing
is, im also meeting katie at 9 pm for funky buddha. so i'm
not just getting ready for this 'date', im getting ready
for katie's outing also. so it takes a lot longer..... i
told him id be there at maybe half 6 and he says cool.
then at half 6 im still at home. at 6.40 he texts asking
where i am. and i say im about to jump on the tube. then
he gets annoyed and is like 'i cant stand people who are
late!' at this point im thinking omg! why is he being so
rude? is it cos he thinks girls will just flock to him
like that? (gosh i dont feel like reliving it) but long
and short of it, he's not v. happy and i get a txt saying
ill wait till 7, if you;re not there, im chipping.
arrrgh!!! i don't believe it. then im terribly anxious. i
get to swiss cottage station around 7.10 and i walk across
the road to the bar, and scan the place, but i dont see
any1. i sit down on the bench and look at my phone. by
this time he's already text me saying 'you stood me up?'
then i look around one more time, and i see him get up
from his bench, and is about to come to me. then i walk
over and we kiss kiss and start talking. with me
aplogising of course... then he's like - well you could
have told me etc.. but its past that and we start talking.
and its good banter, good converstation. then he buys me a
drink - a few jokes ensue, poking fun etc. i think i
genuinely make him laugh a few times too.. we take the
piss, laugh and play. he's mighty honest, about just about
everything. his intentions with me, his many girlfriends
(who actually know about eachother) at first he's looking
at me all flirtatiously. but im not having any of it. the
thing is i know its all about sex with him, so im able to
create a kind of block (temporary im sure) where a much
stronger attraction should be. and im giving as good as he
gives ( i think lol ). he's very rude, but still so
charming. like you cant really dislike him because there's
an almost childlike innocence to the way in which he does
it. if anything, it might actually be endearing. strange.
but one of the things we established within the first few
seconds was that he was a scorpio. he said his b-day was
november 7th and made a few references to the scorpions'
reputation as mr passionate etc.
when i asked him if he had a girl friend, he said 'loads!'
lol. then started telling me about how he cant decide.
thing is, he's honest. well i guess he doesnt really have
a choice. you cant keep all those girls from knowing
eachother for too long. then i was like "gosh id hate to
be your girlfriend!" then he was like i've been out with
loads of beautiful girls - sophie dahl, fucked kate moss,
went out with robert mugabe's daughter. then i said
something and he was like wow you're naughtier than u seem
arent you?? then he asked me if id ever slept with a white
guy. i didnt answer. i returned the question. about black
girls obviously and his reply was "loads". wow. so utterly
shameless! then he was like "so where in africa are you
from?" and i said how do u kno im from africa..then he has
this really smug look and says ive been out with loads of
beautiful african girls... then he kind of pscyo analysed
me, to a T. he said something along the lines of " you're
tempted by the wild side - there's a wild side to you, but
you're scared. you're cautious...." lol then he said " you
just need to be swept off your feet.." lol both of which
were quite true. so strange. i think i did a bit of psycho
analysis too, we were walking to the station (after he got
this phone call which he had to get off the bench and walk
across a bit, to take - no doubt it was one of his several
girls - and then told me right ive gotta be off after this
drink..) anywhoo, he said "you're very strange aren't
you? - you don't say a lot.." which was true to an extent.
then i said something along the lines of "you're very
sweet - although you'd probably rather die before you
admitted it..." and he usually he'd give a playful reply.
but he kind of just didn't say anything for a split
second, and then he gave this kind of deliberated semi
laugh, as if to mask his previous awkward response. then
we got to the gate thing, and he kissed me on both cheeks
and then i said kiss my hand and he did and then on both
cheeks again. then i said where will u be tonight? and he
said "portobello rd. maybe ill call you later.." i can't
remember what i said to that. probably something
like "maybe.." ha. then we parted.
all in all, he's very gorgeous. like viggo mortensen in
perfect murder kind of gorgeuos, that tortured artist
look, but with a more playful dispostion.
i don't know what the deal is. there probably isnt one to
be honest. i dont even know how old he is. we communicate
on a different level to the way ben and i do. like we kind
of know what the other is thinking just by going on looks
etc. i think he sensed that too. i wanted to text him, but
my free txts have run out, and so it didnt send. obinna pt
some cash in my account and he says i should get it by
tuesday. so if thats true, it means tuesday is when ill
text him i guess. unless i try today.
he also kept saying things like "i should just carry you
away right now and give you a good seeing to." lol. he
actually said that! he has dark hair with streaks of grey
going all through it. and he has stubble with bits of grey
there too. yum. he kept asking me how old i was and i kept
returning the question, and he'd answer "old enough" and
then he asked me where i lived and what my flat was like
etc and i kind of hesitated and smiled (knowing that he'd
have more clue as to my age) and i said its a university
owned building - not realising what would come next, and
he said "so halls basically" "you live in halls" and he
smiled a kind of knowing smile, like i can guess your age
now...lol kind of embarassing.