All that is
Ad 2:
2009-06-15 08:39:00 (UTC)

the thing..

As children age, they feel increasingly responsible for
the violence in their homes. A school-aged child often
feels caught between love for the father and desire to
protect the mother. Shame becomes a dominant theme.
Children become increasingly isolated from their peers as
they act out in school and cease to invite friends home.
As children grow into teens they develop higher levels of
delinquency and violent behavior than those in non-violent

Psychological Effects
While the primary and immediate focus for many people is
the physical injury suffered by victims, the emotional and
psychological abuse inflicted by batterers likely has
longer term impacts and may be more costly to treat in the
short-run than physical injury. (Straus, 1986, 1988, 1990).

Depression remains the foremost response, with 60% of
battered women reporting depression (Barnett, 2000).

In addition, battered women are at greater risk for
suicide attempts, with 25% of suicide attempts by
Caucasian women and 50% of suicide attempts by African
American women preceded by abuse (Fischbach & Herbert,

Along with depression, domestic violence victims may also
experience Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is
characterized by symptoms such as flashbacks, intrusive
imagery, nightmares, anxiety, emotional numbing, insomnia,
hyper-vigilance, and avoidance of traumatic triggers.
Several empirical studies have explored the relationship
between experiencing domestic violence and developing
PTSD. Vitanza, Vogel, and Marshall (1995) interviewed 93
women reporting to be in long-term, stressful
relationships. The researchers looked at the relationships
among psychological abuse, severity of violence in the
relationship, and PTSD. The results of the study showed a
significant correlation between domestic violence and
PTSD. In each group in the study (psychological abuse
only, moderate violence, and severe violence), women
scored in the significant range for PTSD. Overall, 55.9%
of the sample met diagnostic criteria for PTSD. In further
support of the strong relationship between domestic
violence and PTSD, Mertin and Mohr (2000), interviewed 100
women in Australian shelters, each of whom had experienced
domestic violence. They found that 45 of the 100 women met
diagnostic criteria for PTSD.

Impacts on Children
One-third of the children who witness the battering of
their mother demonstrate significant behavioral and/or
emotional problems, including psychosomatic disorders,
stuttering, anxiety and fears, sleep disruption, excessive
crying and school problems. (Jaffe et al, 1990; Hilberman
& Munson, 1977-78)

Those boys who witness abuse of their mother by their
father are more likely to inflict severe violence as
adults. Data suggest that girls who witness maternal abuse
may tolerate abuse as adults more than girls who do not.
(Hotaling & sugarman, 1986)

These negative effects may be diminished if the child
benefits from intervention by the law and domestic
violence programs. (Giles-Sims,1985)

The long-term effects of child sexual abuse include
depression and self-destructive behavior, anger and
hostility, poor self-esteem, feelings of isolation and
stigma, difficulty in trusting others (especially men),
and martial and relationship problems, and a tendency
toward revictimization. (Finkelhor & Brown, 1988)

Other effects identified include runaway behavior,
hysterical seizures, compulsive rituals, drug and school

The final thing is that you have to put a higher value on
yourself. You have to believe that you deserve to be
pursued and that you are someone who is worth his effort.
If he is not demonstrating this, believe it anyway. Let
him decide whether or not he feels the same way but make
sure that you are not 'pleading' with him. One of the
biggest reasons why he may be taking your for granted is
because you are doing the same with yourself. Put a higher
value on yourself and remember that if this man does not
want you that someone will.