NotSoSadSadie

The Laughter Inside My Mind
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2009-04-26 20:00:52 (UTC)

Thank You for the Feedback..Today is a GOOD Day

I woke up this morning hitting my snooze button like three
times, ugh i thought why did i agree to work today, well i
need the money so that's why..
As i ran the hot water for my shower i starting thinking
about rain, and i'll be damned it was raining like a mofo
outside..I got to work and was greeted by one of my staff,
filling me in on how his overnight went..i was happy things
went well..then my second staff showed up and our day began,
to keep myself busy on Sundays i do all the cooking(which i
can say i love to do) so i made the gents french toast,
pears, applesauce and milk..then the daily cares began along
with the cleaning and paperwork..after all that was done
lunch time came and went and then it was time to come home,
i think today was one of the fastest days ever; hell i'm not
complaining one bit..Today was a GOOD day..
As i walked in the door of my house, i decided it was time
to get the laundry for the week out of the way and start
cleaning up some, so that i don't have to do really anything
all week; i don't want to do all that and work then have to
come home and do it as well...
So with all that started i sit down at my computer checking
all my emails and then i see that i got feedback once
again..after reading it, i had this sense of peace wash over
me today, knowing that someone out there can relate to
me..Today was a Good day..I love the feeling that i am not
alone and someone else isn't afraid to talk to me..YAY for
friendly people...
Ok now..here's a real kicker..my best friend was here last
night for dinner and i told her about me and the ex sleeping
together and all she could do was groan..she didn't ask me
why, but i haven't told her that i talked to the ex last
night after she left and he's coming here for the weekend..I
know this is some crazy shit that i am doing, but i want to
see him and part of me wants him to see how well off i am
doing after our divorce and such..that's kinda cruel im a
sense, BUT i want him to see he no longer has control over
my emotions..and who knows we might just end up in bed
again..he wanted me to go to Minnesota with him to a friends
house and i said no, that i would feel too retarded sleeping
at someones house that i don't know and i don't trust my
pile o poo car to make it farther than where he lives so i
told him to come to town and that he had to find a ride here
and back...I am kinda worried about how my 17 year old will
feel about him coming to see me, i guess after i tell him,
we shall see..i mean i'm a big girl and it's my life right?
should i feel bad just because the people that love me are
worried that the ex might be trying to slink his way back
in? is there something wrong with me for wanting some fun?
who knows..gawd i can't wait for my therapy appointment,
maybe she can direct me and tell me to stop it..Today is
still a Good day no matter what's on my mind..

Ok time for a laundry switch and the treadmill..i will try
to write more later if not there's always tomorrow..

Much Love,
Sadie


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