The Laughter Inside My Mind
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2009-04-25 02:35:58 (UTC)

When is it ever right?

Today was long, i didn't want to wake up..i dreaded work
today for some reason, it was warm out out that's probably
why, i did errands as long as i could so i didn't have to go
back to the house..when i finally did get back to the house,
all i did was brain went into freak
mode..there's so much to comprehend...

Even when i'm home i'm working..isn't that peachy..

Ever hear Sissy's Song by Alan Jackson?
That is one of the most beautiful songs ever, reminds me of
a great friend that i lost to cancer in Feb..every word is
what i hope for her..listen to it once if you can...

Ok i skipped the gym today and felt guilty, but i did do my arms are slowly getting smaller(not that the
flab underneath is going anywhere) and i have ass cheeks..i
mean ok..ya know how big girls asses look all weird, like
how their butt cheeks look? i can't describe it unless i
point it out or if you really know what i am trying to say,
well i had that ass, now it actually looks like i have two
seperate ass cheeks..and someone even pointed it out to me,
so i had to look in the mirror and that's also what made me
notice my arms..that's why i felt guilty when i didn't go to
curves, so i decided to work out at home..bah..

as you can see i jump around a lot, i can't ever stay on
track when i talk about my life or anything that happens..
told ya i'm weird..

so anyways, made the two boys come shopping with me and ma
came with, then took them out to eat..i took teaspoons of a
few thin gs and less than half a glass of milk, i couldn't
even finish it all and i go sick, i'm so a cheap ass date
when going anywhere to eat...

I need to be slapped, i missed the ex today..i am wondering
what the hell i am thinking, and i swear to GOD whenever i
think about him, that song by Kelly Clarkson comes on, my
life would suck without you and every word in that song is
me and him, what is GOD telling me? i don't know sometimes
its a good feeling, sometimes it is a weird feeling, then
half the time i think girl are you THAT fucking retarded?
Time for a mental med then off to bed, i'm tired of good night to all..i'll try to write this weekend

Much Love,

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