nin137

Facebook & Lawyers

i'm sure you've heard the admonition in these troubled times
that one of the surest ways to screw up your search for a
job is to have a facebook profile. the evils of facebook
have been preached by everybody over 30 with a type of
conviction normally reserved for sunday worship.

now i thought my advanced real estate professor was kind of
a douche bag for reaming me out for 45 mins during one of my
presentations. he was unmerciful in his grilling of my
(supposedly general) presentation. i chalked it off as just
being in the wrong place at the wrong time. see, the guy is
an adjunct and works during the day at a law firm. it could
have been that, on that particular day he had gotten reamed
out by someone at his firm (or a client) and then decided to
take his hate out on a student.

well then he also laced into two other presentation-givers
down the week. and then finally, the other day, he started
class with the well-known admonition mentioned above:
"Lawyers shouldn't have facebook accounts!"

and after he said that he proceeded into a story which
solidified my belief that this guy was just a plain ole
asshole. appparently, this girl had applied for an
internship at his firm. he and a partner had been assigned
to interview her, and he was telling us how he couldn't find
out anything about her (except the resume and cover letter
she had sent him, i would assume????) except for her
facebook page.

it seems that the lady wasn't smart enough to put her
profile on private. so this asshole went through it and,
then told us the following:
"she was a member of a bunch of really racy groups."
one of them was how she was able to pound 6 shots in six
seconds or something like that.
then he went on,
"so, in anticipation of our meeting. i printed out these
club pages and brought them to our interview. i then asked
her, 'what clubs are you a member of?' at which point she
started listing all of the ones on her resume. once she was
done...i pulled the sheet of clubs out from her facebook
account and asked her about the 'pound 6 shots in 6 seconds'
club."
at this point he guffawed like he had just told the funniest
joke in the world. some people laughed nervously but i just
stared at him in disbelief...jesus christ, how can you be
that mean-spirited?

noticing the stares he quickly followed up, "so yeah, i mean
i told her that it wasn't a good idea to have a facebook
profile if you wanted to be perceived as professional."

what an asshole.

some really unbelievable things happen at the dog park.
there are these "long-arm" thorwing things that people use
to throw their tennis balls really far. there are also these
really hard balls that are used primarily for throwing in
the water (because they don't get soaked as easily).
combine those two monstrosities and an idiot, and you have a
lawsuit at the dog park.

so there i was with my dog in the water area, just watching
him play and have a goodd ole puppy time, when i noticed
something disconcerting. a woman, who looked like she was
wearing a burlap bag, was throwing her dog the balls right
behind thid other lady. i watched a bit more and then the
unbelievable happened.

the lady in the burlap bag reared back with all her might,
wound up, and REALEASED!!!! only way too late, and ended up
slamming the lady in front of her in the ear, FULL FORCE!!!
i could hear the *pop* sound the ball made off of the other
lady's ear from a good 10 feet away. the victim fell to the
ground screaming and came back up with blood coming out of
her ear.

"oh my god!!! i'm bleeding!!! aaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!"

and as she tried to straighten herself up she quickly
collapsed again. having experienced this type of situation
before (well not exactly THIS type) i knew what had
happened. the burlap lady had popped her ear drum.

"oooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!"
"i didn't mean to...it was an accident!!!"
"you idiot!!! how can you not fucking see a fully grown
adulut in front of you? why the fuck do you have to throw
it so CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!"

now given that the dog park is mostly g-rated cos of all the
puppies, you could tell this lady was fucking pissed.

"we're calling the cops...NO NO, YOU DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!!
WE'RE CALLING THE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS!"
"but it was an accident!!! i didn't mean to!!"
"i'm going to SUE you for this!!! owowowowowowowow"

if only i had been a lawyer already i could have gotten my
first client!