kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2009-04-13 03:09:24 (UTC)

For the faith to God I uphold to

I dreamt something nice and hopefully it'll come true.
Because of it, I stayed in bed longer than I should have.
Didn't even care that tomorrow's gonna be my finance test
and have not even listen to its lectures yet. Dead! For
sure.. But happy.. Kind of.
Well thing is, even if it's fated that I couldn't get the
same kind of feeling in real life, I'll be more than happy
to see it happening at least in my dream.
In my dream, there's this guy who's always there for me
despite me not even asking. Never fail to surprise me. Let
me feel extremely special. And seriously, I can't get
enough of it.
He's not funny. Neither he's too serious. There's always a
smile on his face. He respects me the way I want it to be
even without me asking. He loves me even when I don't
declare mine to him. Without me asking, he loves me
unconditionally and pamper me like no other human on earth
have ever done so on me.
Felt extremely happy in that dream that I wish it would
never end. Despite the fact that the dream end of with him
getting into an accident in which I don't know what happen
next since by then I've woken up from my dream, I'm still
happy for the brief feeling that I get to experience.
I doubt I could ever get any of these is reality. Ugly
face, ugly personality plus I've got to admit an ugly
heart, I doubt it will ever happen to me. But yeah, in the
dream, I was the same person. It just that with the
appearance of him.. makes me a changed person. He's too
kind to do so. I doubt anyone in reality would ever care if
I ever become beautiful. Truth be told, I'm concede defeat
in continuing to live life.
For whatever comes next, I'll just take and swallow it.
Nothing good has ever happen to me for a very long time and
I'm feeling kinda of lose hope. No point of return for me.
So yeah, I guess I'll be waiting for the next dream to
appear to me tonight. Will it? Please let it be so.. That's
the only way that I could feel any existence of me on this
earth. I'm not like the other girls that could forever get
to choose what they like and don't coz I could never ever
get a choice in the first place.
22 years of life.. and still non-existent.. foreseeing
another 22 years of my life, without anything to live for
except for the faith to god which I uphold to.




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