NotSoSadSadie

The Laughter Inside My Mind
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2009-04-02 23:28:31 (UTC)

Is GOD trying to tell me something?

Well i didn't exercise today, so i'm probably going to pay
for it tomorrow, i just didn't feel like it...i guess when
another 5 pounds creeps on my ass i will feel like it eh?

The ex hubby called today, i was shocked/happy/nervous..we
talked for 45 minutes; i still love him-after all this time
and after all that we have been through, but i refuse to let
him know it because i can't get caught up in his web of
lies.or has he changed like he said? he said people can
change in four years, which i know, but the REAL question
is, can he be a changed person? am i retarded for still
being in love with him? he wants to be friends and so do i,
we never gave our relationship a friendship chance before we
starting dating and then hopped into marriage..i don't know
what to do, i am so confused; my 17 year old son said talk
to him for awhile on the phone before i decide to see him
again, which sounded like a good idea..the ex wanted to see
me this weekend already..not ready for that..i'm too nervous
to see him after 4 years..bah..

me and my 17 year old went out to dinner this evening, i
decided on the baked fish and boiled potatoes, i can never
eat it all, which is funny because before my surgery i'd
gobble the whole plate down and want dessert..can't do that
anymore, those are a few of the things i miss from before my
surgery is eating what i want, but then again eating what i
want is what got me to be such a lard ass in the first
place..i took this one picture of me from last summer and
hung it up on my fridge just to remind me of how big never
to get again, and my 17 year old says to me, wow i didn't
realize you were such a heifer and then he asked when the
picture was taken, so when i told him it was taken last
summer sometime he busted out laughing..little shit monster,
but he was right; i looked like an over bloated whale...ffs...

bah thank goodness it's almost Friday then it's the weekend
off for me...

I'm getting sleepy here, it's almost time for the last
episode of er..so i'm going to end my boring day and i'll
catch ya on the flipside...

Much Love,
Sadie


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