lukeryu

Mental Screamings
2009-03-18 07:24:01 (UTC)

St. Patty's Post

Yes, I've been keeping up with my game resolution. Yes, I
will post about it.

I do not handle big compliments well, and today I got one.
I wont repeat it, because repeating it gives it power, but
I'm still in that "did he REALLY say that?" state. I guess
its my fault. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see
all the imperfections, not the good I do. I see the ways in
which things could be better, the things I need to improve,
the ways in which I suck. And to hear that others look past
that part and can see the good I do, the ways in which I
help, the improvements I actually make, it is nice to
remember that it is not all doom and gloom in the land of
Geller.

My company went out to lunch at Diavanni's today. We were
mostly done and just about to leave, when an elderly man who
appeared to be natively from India walked up and struck up a
conversation with the two members of our team who are from
India. After a few minutes, the elderly Indian starts to
tell a story of a Catholic wedding he had attended. At the
reception, a somewhat arrogant Catholic woman walked up to
the man and asked him if he had accepted Jesus as his
personal lord and savior. The man kindly responded that no,
he walked the path of the Buddha. The woman asked what book
the man followed, and the man responded that his book was
thousands of years old. That his book was full of only love
and not of hate. That unlike the Bible, his book had never
been used as a reason to start wars or to subjugate other
people. The woman asked what the name of the book was, so
that she might go to a bookstore and find it. He replied
"The Kama Sutra". All of us at the table had a good belly
laugh.

I'm paraphrasing her, but Rachael used to say (probably
still does) that come Springtime, all animals (emphasizing
all, meaning she included humans) feel the urge to get it
on. I'm pretty sure that urge is just all it is. But
tonight, I was out with the guys celebrating St. Patty's
Day. The Irish pub we went to was in Maple Grove. I walk
in (Dan and Keith had been there for a few hours already)
and pay my $10 cover to a pretty cute girl. We sorta
politely smile at each other as she puts on me a wristband
indicating I had paid my cover, and then I take my leave and
go find my friends. I didnt pay it much mind until she came
over later with a tray of shots. We each took one, offered
to pay for her to have one as well, but she declined. I
guess Keith saw the way I was looking at her, because he
sort of jumped and tried to get me an in with with her by
getting us to introduce ourselves. Of course, I had
absolutely no intention of doing anything besides smiling
and staring, because A) she is a waitress at an irish pub on
St. Patty's Day and her job is hard enough without every
sleezeball she serves trying to ask for her number and B)
I'm not terribly comfortable with complete strangers like
that. She walks off to sell more shots to other patrons,
and Keith starts to spurt out how he is absolutely convinced
that she was digging me. I'm not sure how much of his
theory was because of his "matchmaking skillz" (his words,
not mine) and how much of it was the sheer amount of Guiness
he had ingested by that point in the evening, but I just
sort of smiled and nodded and went back to minding my own
business. I restrain myself once again when she comes back
around with more shots an hour and a half later. We ended
up leaving the bar not much after the second round of shots
and going home. I'm sure I was right in not doing anything,
but the part in me which wants to reach out to others is
disappointed that nothing happened. There was a kind of
excitement in talking about it, even if I knew I would never
do anything.

G'night




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