Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2009-03-17 23:49:19 (UTC)

speaking of death and scooter fun

It's weird, and I'm not just talking about the subject line.

It's been six months since my mom died, and 1 year since my
cat inky died, and you know, I'm still more broken up about
Inky than I am my mother. I know it's fucked, but, I'm angry
that inky died, probably because I'm angry that my mom
didn't do anything about it when I knew months before
something was wrong with her. I dunno, maybe it's just,
something. I really don't know. I don't even know if I
should feel worse that I'm not as broken up about my mom,
more than I am about inky. But the honest answer is, inky
was more important. I know, that'll probably shock one or
two people, might offend another, and probably not even
cause some to blink twice. I feel a sense of relief more
than anything. And I think it's because my mom was so
miserable. She really hated her life, and I would often feel
the brunt of that rage. because that was really what it was.
Funny how things work out, or don't.

I took my scooter out on the road tonight, actual road, not
just within the 12 city blocks around my place where there's
no traffic really to speak of. I was quite happy, cost me
$0.84 to fill up the tank on it with premium gas, I was
laughing my ass off at that, so was the old guy beside me in
his camper. I swear, this summer is gonna be fun, the bike,
the scooter, and hey, who knows, maybe everything else will
work itself out.

I'm thinking abbotsford next year is where I'm going to go.
I'm just not entirely sure, but, it would seem to make the
most sense, I didn't get into the Stratford Chef school, the
waiting list is quite long actually, so, I think it'll be
good to get out there and do something. I'm still really
wanting to go and start a catering company, so who knows,
maybe it'll work out.