blkdragon

grounded
2009-02-13 04:09:02 (UTC)

Aggressive freestyling

2/12/09– 5:30 pm? I got 8 hours of sleep last night, not my
norm, I’d decide to swim later in the day; I was hoping to
test my freestyle ability today. I brought Ruth Thompson’s
Book of Angels for Nicole to see, I wanted her to envision
Michael’s keys in the form of rings, the only problem I
could foresee would be how the wing and feathers would sit
on a finger; having problems visualizing a workable solution.
Nicole would watch me carefully as I began swimming, I’d
brought the webbed gloves hoping to increase my range of
motion through resistance, Nicole would ask how my shoulder
was? I attempted the freestyle, half the lap took a lot out
of me and I wasn’t going to let that stop me, I finished the
lap and decided I wouldn’t tempt fate right away; I’d swim ½
mile this afternoon. I do each style in sets of 3, I decided
the last two laps would be freestyle again. I finished the
first lap, Nicole was shocked to see me trying again,
especially after Cathy asked how my shoulder was; I’d also
told her that it was sore. I got angry that my body is
taking so long to normalize, lap 43 was aggressive, I
stopped to find myself huffing and puffing; it took so much
out of me. I got angrier, began the last lap, determined to
do what I wanted to do; I was tired of the snail’s pace of
the breaststroke. I didn’t pause long enough to notice any
discomfort, finishing the lap, I began flexing my arm while
breathing harder than ever. Having to suck in so much air
pissed me off, I regulated my breathing and continued
flexing, noting there was still stiffness and discomfort; I
hauled myself from the pool.
Nicole was now looking at me for signs of distress, I was
tired from the exertion of the last two laps, pleased with
my effort; Nicole’s look meant “are you crazy?” She asked
the obvious, how is the shoulder, I told her that it
actually seemed better for the wear and that surprised me;
she told me that she could hear how hard I was exerting
myself and she didn’t have to tell me she was concerned
because I saw it on her face. I told her that I was tired of
not being able to do what I wanted, tired of the slow pace I
needed to set for healing purposes, that three weeks should
have been enough time for whatever problem to be rectified.
I’d been applying plenty of heat, favoring the shoulder
whenever possible, I now needed to get it back into the
game. I told her that I got angry enough to make my body
listen to me, the last two laps signified the exertion of my
will, even now it seems that my body has acquiesced to my
desires; I’m no more sore than before.
I’m actually pleased and hopeful for tomorrow, I told Nicole
that I would attempt to intersperse the freestyle with the
breaststroke, I’ve gotten to the use it or lose it stage;
believing the more I tax the musculature, the greater range
of motion I’ll be able to achieve. I’ll handle the pain or
discomfort if it surfaces, I certainly won’t ignore my
body’s warnings, if any; at the moment I’m optimistic about
the progress I expect to make. I finished the day @144.25, I
weighed in @146, I’d expected to do supplemental exercises
at home but didn’t. I mentioned both Rita and Xia to Nicole
today, remarking on the fact that I hadn’t given much
thought to Xia in quite some time, finding that a bit odd;
told her that Charlotte’s been on my mind of late.
Charles would call me tonight to tell me that he’s now a
married man, I told him that I thought they were marrying
tomorrow, I congratulated him; he told me that they’d seen
his Mother and she was present during the ceremony. Charles
also told me that he wanted me to be at the ceremony, he
added that he'd forgotten to tell me where it would be, I
told him that it was ok; I'm glad he's now happy. With all
that I’ve recently heard of what Kathy’s been telling Nikki,
I don’t ever need to see her again, if I find myself in her
presence I’ll say hello and step away from her.




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