blkdragon

grounded
2009-02-02 05:16:22 (UTC)

They're with me

1/30/09– 11:04 am? I was surprised by a murder of crows,
filling the trees on the property last night, they were
noisy and disturbed; I expected them to make lots of noise
while I slept and I’d find them gone when I awoke. I got out
of the house at 5:25 this morning, the desk clerk told me
that Nicole hadn’t arrived and she didn’t know if the pool
would actually be open, I saw Frank/Dominic and Robert
downstairs; I had to return home and the clerk told me that
Nicole had arrived.
Nicole would tell me that Larry is a bit slow, I told her
that I noticed the door still isn’t hung, she would tell me
that Larry has an extension to finish the job; I’d find that
although the director had made a pick, the corporate office
would make the decision. Larry still has no boss and less of
a clue, Nicole informed me that Larry just learned to read
last year, he got help to get his license, he’s supposed to
skate tonight; Nicole said that she’d be dragging Keion with
her tonight. Larry’s supposed to be buying skates tonight, I
skated last night, it was rather crowded; lots of kids. I’d
speak to the owners and tell them that this guard is the
worst they’ve ever had, they agreed, I wasn’t about to ask
for the job and they weren’t about to offer it to me for the
same reasons; if they compensated me handsomely I’d consider it.
Charles ruled the floor last night, he overcompensates on
the side of careful, he doesn’t say anything if the
percentage of an accident ensuing is minimal; he doesn’t
understand that if he stops all offenders it will send the
appropriate message. He doesn’t understand the power of his
whistle, it will get everyone’s attention and highlight what
shouldn’t be done, it’s like the professor teaching an
unruly class; he brings his mule onto the stage and slaps it
with his bat. All the students are immediately shocked and
he says, “Now that I’ve got your attention!” Short blasts of
the whistle, quick response, the value of shock will reduce
the frequency of offenders. They’d give out free passes,
they’re no longer using the Printers they used last year,
they’re printing them at home; I’m sure they’ll be color
coding them as well.
Devon got physical custody of Davion, starting tonight, he’s
ecstatic and he should be; the problem I see will be how
Colleen deals with both Davion and the new baby, also how
Devon handles the stress of being the sole breadwinner. It
goes without saying that I will assist as I can, I need to
give my Son a call in the morning, Charles will be surprised.
1/31/09--10:07 am? I woke at 6, got something to drink and
got back into bed, sore still; at 8:30 the phone would ring.
I answered to find Charles on the line, he was asking why I
don’t call him, I told him that I’d planned to call him this
morning; I’m sure he didn’t believe me and that’s not
important. Why would I call someone and ask them why they
don’t call me, that isn’t a tad bit selfish, it’s grossly
selfish and that’s why I don’t call; I also know that it
wasn’t his question to ask. Nikki seems to be focused on me,
she’s angry because I want nothing to do with her, in her
perfect world she’d replace Charles with me; she sees him as
the child he is and I’ve been aware of the way she looks at
me. Nikki doesn’t know me and imagines I’m not much unlike
Charles, she couldn’t be more wrong if she drank acid, the
acid would treat her more kindly than I; fucking with me
would only signal her decimation. Nikki is one of those
women that either abuses or is abused, one of those women
that believes in getting physical with her man, if he isn’t
kicking her ass she doesn’t feel loved; if she could, she’d
kick her own ass because she dislikes herself that much.
I got the wheels for Nicole’s skates, Charles only charged
me $15, I’ll be getting that from her later today; I put the
wheels on and will be bringing them to her.
Tanya didn’t show at the rink last night, she’s under no
obligation to me, I enjoyed the night without her; I’d
planned to introduce Nicole/Larry and Cathy to her. I’d pick
up Nicole and Cathy last night, Larry hadn’t arrived, even
though he mentioned being at Nicole’s by 6; that’s the time
I leave on Friday’s. He’d call as we got onto Rt 7, 5 miles
from Nicole’s apartment, he was at her place; she told him
that we were already at the rink. Larry would have his woman
drive him, talk about a mess, another "Cougar;" certainly
nothing to write home about. When I saw her I thought Larry
should be getting paid, understand the relationship, this
woman is much like Nikki; emotionally challenged and deals
with young men that are challenged. These women provide
instruction, a sense of stability in companionship, a haven
to keep those young men from being lost in their own
thoughts; their insecurity is heightened by the looks they
receive from those viewing their relationship and wondering
why they happen to be with these women. In their minds,
being with these women happens to be better than being by
themselves, Sheridan falls in that category. Also these
women have control issues while these “men” need to be
controlled, a match made in reality.
I’d find that Larry moved this woman into his Grandmother’s
house, as if this woman didn’t know better, how the
Grandmother must be viewing this relationship; the audacity
of this woman to insinuate herself. This woman strutted
around the rink with her muffin cresting her pants, wearing
evidence of her profession, the Y’s Staff shirt; Larry’s
obese (younger) Sister in tow. The word is that neither of
them pays his Grandmother rent of any sort, both of them
work and earn enough to afford a place of their own, Larry
doesn’t know any better; this “woman” should.
I have nothing against “Cougars” as long as they’re teaching
their pups something, as long as the pups benefit from the
experience/relationship, we all know that it’s usually a
co-dependent relationship revolving around sex. In the case
of Larry and my Son, they are always ill at ease in the
presence of these women, inherently they know that they’re
being used; they’re also ashamed to have chosen beneath
themselves and are intensely aware of that fact. The shame
keeps them constantly on the lookout for the “bigger better
deal”, both Larry and my Son respond to any female that
gives them half a look, both of them are attracted to Nicole
and Cathy; neither of these ladies happen to be attracted to
either of them. If Larry and Charles worked harder on
themselves, the women they hoped to have in their lives
would appear!
Devon believes I’ll be spending some time with him today,
that’s not going to happen, perhaps I’ll make it to his
place tomorrow; I’ve been trying to decide what to charge
Willie for this hard drive. I’ve decided he can give me $40,
160gigs will cost almost $90, I should actually charge more
for the installation and set-up; I’ll have to consider that.
He may want me to come for him tonight, I’ll be expecting at
least $30 just for transportation costs, I’m sure to only
get $20; Willie is below the poverty level borderline.
Willie is another one that believes in the power of false
advertising, he mentioned purchasing a used Jaguar, you live
in a dump and drive an outdated luxury car; what does this
say about your view of yourself? Mine is not to reason why,
mine is but to pay attention, note the distinctions between
what is/isn’t make the adjustments necessary to keep from
traveling the roads these people seem to be on.
Charlotte hasn’t bothered to respond to my last email, it
wasn’t necessary, it does say something to me about where
she is though; I’m happy for her if she’s found someone to
truly care for her and I know that won’t be the case.




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