So my moms is sick. Like really sick. It's been absolutely
wonderful to see how my dad has been there in this situation
for her and that makes me so impressed. He's actually kind
of being there for all of us. Somehow, while I am heavily
emotional about this entire incident, I feel this....fervent
strength being around my family. Its as if they need me,
and, more importantly, they need me to be strong. Not that I
could be anything else, I guess. I don't think of this as
being really about me. I just pray that my mom gets better
Other than Jess I haven't really let anyone know that
my mother is sick. I did it thru text, basically, and it
felt extremely weird even to tell her. The most difficult
non father related thing I've ever had to go through was the
death of Maria last year, and I'm still quite scarred by her
lack of support and understanding in that time. God knows
its not her fault, but when has she ever had one of those
moments in which so much of my own character has been built?
I'm thinking that (and God knows that this is a good thing
for her) her not having to go through much toughness or loss
throughout her life makes us really have some issues. God
knows I've never really opened up to anyone, and sometimes
it's like she can't even tell that I'm trying to open up.
This is too new for her, and much too new for me. I'll call
her tonight and try and talk this out...but the wound of
Maria is still so very fresh. All I know is I love her.
In other news this is my first time home in some
time, what with all the hospital visits and such, to be home
and have a moment to reflect.