nin137

Nick's Journal
2009-01-20 21:13:46 (UTC)

Inauguration and Other Things

I should be triple-checking the "talking points" i've come
with for my presentation on german law to our CEO and
corporate counsel, but instead, i am on my (much neglected)
online diary (or as i prefer "journal").

rather than preparing for a conference call that i will be
conducting from my futon with a 7 month old puppy thinking
he is a lap dog sitting in my lap i've decided to jot down
my thoughts on recent events.

in particular; i remember one cold november morning, right
after bush won his reelection, during which i was listening
to a morning radio talk show. the talk show was wondering
what exactly conservatives would bitch about now. they had
flooded the states red. they had locked up congress and had
shown that, despite being in the throngs of an already
unpopular war, our embattled president still had the backing
of the masses.
that was 2004.

then came 2006. the tide had turned, the brush that painted
our national politics turned blue and we all of a sudden had
a sweeping "mandate" by the people to the democrats.

now it is 2008. we have a black president. a democrat.
and whereas i was completely convinced i was only surrounded
by conservatives in 2004 i am now convinced all the people i
know are liberals. the media is chock full. the streets
are littered with delirious spindly figures rejoicing in the
glow of their righteous savior.

i thought a lot about barack obama before i voted for him.
while mccain had all of the policies i agreed with obama
just represented something more than policies. he was
transcendant to me. coming from someone as cynical as
myself this meant something...to myself.

i think i am more enamored with what obama stands for rather
than who he personally is. i love the fact that he embodies
change. that he is the absolute vindication of the phrase,
"in america anyone can become anything they want...so long
as they try"

i was terrified and somewhat apoplectic at the thought that
we could have another clinton on the heels of a bush.
nothing would have shattered my view of america more than
that. the thought of nepotism, the very thing that this
country was founded against to reign supreme would have
decimated my idealism of this country. and i know, i know,
there is plenty of nepotism in congress (elizabeth kennedy's
current hope of taking hillary's spot is a good example) but
that's besides the point.

the american people caste aside the nepotism and voted for
this "nobody." a great person who is truly inspirational,
who i have no doubt will be great in all ways (or at least i
pray and hope so). that is why i am so proud of this country.

as for bush. i am probably one of the few people who will
not tatter his image. i thought he was a decent president
who did well under truly trying times. i hate how liberals
show their talons and try to tear him apart; moreover, i
think that personal animus is commpletely unwarranted. i
thought he was a good guy who truly believed he was doing
what was right and didn't care as to whether it was popular.
i respect that about him and i will always remember him as
a strong leader.

aside from those thoughts on our "changing of the guard." i
must say that i am extremely overwhelmed. i am graduating
law school soon and the economy being in recession is coming
at a pretty inopportune time for me.

i am really thinking and wanting to start my own firm (my
personal dream). suffice to say that's easier said than
done. i always wonder how much of my self-confidence is
just ignorance mixed with egoism. i really believe i can do
it, but i don't know on the other hand...it's so risky.

other than that, i am a sucker for guilt. my puppy is
guilting the fuck out of me. he whines when we leave him
and when i come home he pics up a stufffed animal, and with
his tail wagging so hard it rocks his butt back and forth he
begs me to chase him. he play-bows as i pull out about 250
reams of german law in preparation for a conference call.

this is only getting worse when i hae kids. maybe i don't
have what it takes to be successful in life. i feel like i
will want to spend too much time with my family to truly put
in theo hours to become a partner or even less, be my own man.

then again...i suppose that hinges on how you define success.