blkdragon

grounded
2009-01-14 14:12:03 (UTC)

Wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

1/10/09– 5:05 pm? I barely made it to the pool, I’d hoped to
have an hour to swim, the lifeguard told me that I had 5
minutes before closing; I’d just looked at the schedule
before leaving my apartment. I hurried to dress, I’d go to
the desk and get another schedule, forgetting that one is
posted in the pool; sure enough closing was in half an hour.
I took the schedule to the lifeguard, she was in the process
of talking with her manager, he’d informed her of the
schedule I was adhering to; I was merely bringing this to
her attention and I wasn’t planning to disturb what she
believed her schedule to be.
She would tell me to not to worry about it because she now
had to stay until 1:30, I felt bad/hurried and rushed to get
as many laps as I could, this did not bode well for me; the
added stress could cause a mishap. I swam 1/8th mile in 15
minutes, I got out of the pool, I engaged the lifeguard and
asked for her boss’s phone number; I planned to complain
about the management. I told her that I was willing to leave
to keep from disturbing her schedule, that I could have
returned tomorrow for my missed laps, she’d tell me to come
tomorrow anyway.
1/11/09– 9:51 pm? My Younger Brother just called me, Mike,
we spoke about Joshua loving his gf; he told me that they
now live together. He mentioned going to the Casino with his
ex, finding a gram of coke in the bathroom, debating what
he’d do with it before flushing it down the drain; he’s been
sober for 15 years. We did quite a bit of laughing about our
Sister and her Husband being prejudiced, Joshua’s girl is
Latina, our Sister and her Husband know nothing of other
cultures and they’ve never gone out of their way to learn
about anything other than black people; I despise
ethnocentricity. I told Mike about Tanya, how this seems to
be more than just her getting lessons from me, about Nikki
and Charles’ impending marriage; about Kathy attempting to
spread the rumor of my having another child out West and how
incensed I am about it.
I told Mike that I’ve put everyone on the reject list,
Charles, Joshua and their Mother. I mentioned the Caddy to
him, what my plans were in the event that I can repair my
car, Mike tells me that Joshua is in love with his gf; that
she’s also in love with him and I thought that was great, I
never want Joshua to be lonely. It was a nice conversation,
I’d initially thought Mike was my Brother Curtis, I told him
about the dentures and we’re supposed to talk tomorrow. Mike
said that he often goes to the Casino with his ex, I’m going
to have to ask what he does at the Casino, I thought Muslims
couldn’t gamble.
I skated last night, all the assholes were there, whenever
the Carney skates behind me I turn to let him know that I
don’t trust him; I’ll have to speak to the skate guard. I
noticed that the guard seemed to have been getting in my way
on purpose, I will make it my business to talk to him about
it, I’m not going to accept his ignorance; he’s merely
acting as if he doesn’t see me. He merely believes he wants
a problem with me, I don’t relate to any of the “men” that
believe themselves a clique, this is by choice; there is
nothing about them worthy of note. They may consider it
racially motivated, I just spoke with a guy last night, an
Italian that happens to be a police officer in
Mechanicville; we’ve known one another for a number of years.
He’s actually a very good skater, I remember when he married
his Wife, when they had their Son; he stopped to talk to me
and show me pictures. He told me that his Younger Sister is
getting married, how he’s been honored with the task of
being Best Man, I had my hand on his shoulder while we
talked; I like this guy immensely, even though I can’t
remember his name and I know that he can’t remember mine. I
would ask about the Sister from California, he’d tell me
that she’s a serious pain in his ass, suggested getting the
two of us together; that was a sincere shot of respect. We
said our farewell for the night, I look forward to seeing
him again.
The clique knows that I don’t care for any of them, this
bothers them, the Carney and Competitor have tried to be
friendly; I dismissed them immediately. I wasn’t trying to
hurt anyone’s feelings, I don’t like these guys, I don’t
care for anyone that desperately needs attention and I don’t
want them associated with me. The Competitor used to come
with a girl, she’s disappeared, the Stomper is looking for a
woman; that’s not going to happen just because he’s a
mediocre skater. I’m sure they’re thinking I believe myself
too good for them, in some ways they’re absolutely correct,
not in the way that most matters; I won’t ignore the safety
of the people to look good. These guys can skate, not as
well as they’d like to believe, they do speed without
control; they are ill equipped to respond at a moment’s
notice and that makes them less than they believe themselves
to be. The only one of them I’ve yet to see fall is the
Stomper, his rhythm is a simple 2-step, the only cross-over
is on the turn; he needs for people to get out of his way
because he’s inflexible. He doesn’t have the ability to
pivot, alter his direction at will, as long as he’s going
forward he’s good; veering left or right on a dime is not an
option. It’s one thing to learn a skill, another to meet or
exceed your potential. There’s one skater that is so busy
staring at his feet that he can’t see anything around him,
it kills me when skaters are deliberately oblivious to
everyone around them, it wouldn’t matter how hard I tried to
be appreciated or liked by these people; they feel a need to
dislike. I’d be cool with any of the above if they showed a
bit of consideration for the rest of the skaters at the
rink, if they didn’t feel themselves better than the rest,
I’ve spent the better part of the last 40 years rolling on
anything from asphalt to wood; I know my limitations.




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