Nick's Journal
2008-12-31 02:37:46 (UTC)

I Hate Doing Shitty Work

i have come up with a million reasons why i don't like
working for a corporation. be it the sappy, corny, off the
charts weird office culture of "caring" for one another or
the just down-right weird ass people you deal with by sheer
virtue of exposure to so many lost souls. the main reason i
don't want to work for a corporation as an attorney is that
you are completely underappreciated at best and viewed as an
antagonistic hindrance at worst.

every project i get is rushed. i get it two days before it
is due with the implication that i essentially rubber stamp
it. now i could just run it through the "bureaucratic"
mill, but i don't for two reasons.
1) i have too much respect for the legal profession to
treat it as blanket benediction for any and all ridiculously
stupid business deals that seek its approval
2) if shit ever goes down you better damn well believe
legal will be the department that catches flack first.

so it seems that, with every project i get, time is of the
essence, expertise, care and thoroughness takes a backseat
to the "incredible business deal" strewn before me. it
really wouldn't have even bothered me so much if it hadn't
all come to the point where i am now.
i had my exams so i took off during them, meanwhile i sifted
through emails on my projects imploring that i just "push it
through." well finally this one woman annoyed me so much
in marketing that i decided to do just that.
i sent it to my boss and told her where i was (normally i
wouldn't dream of having my boss actually finish up one of
my projects) just to get her off my back.

my boss was sympathetic and took the project. of course, as
luck would have it, there was a mixup of communication. my
boss was under the mistaken impression that she had to just
send it out for signature.
so i came back and found that none of my changes had been
incorporated. so there i sat with this none-changed
agreement, albeit not a travesty but at the same time enough
so that the hammer could and eventually would fall on me if
shit went down.
so i felt sick to my stomach and wondered what to do. tell
my boss? it was signed and sealed, no way of going back at
this point.
so i took the course of self-preservation and had it filed
away, now hoping that it all develops without a hitch. and
the worst thing? i don't even feel too responsible. i
looked at my emails and they clearlyu indicated that what i
had given to her was not complete...not that that matters,
i'll be done for if anything happens.

but in the constant rush and beratement my boss has received
she is above all else in the mode to "just get things out."
a very bad mind-set for an attorney to be in. i see her
and i feel badly, it's sort of like an orangutan in a cage.
the lawyer is out of his element when he is rushed and
berated for taking care.

all this shitty work i've been producing has made me a bit
despondent and angry at those for whom i do it for. i'm
tired of feeling like a clog in the machine and even worse,
one that apparently brings the machine to a screeching halt.
a thorn in the side of entrepreneurship. fuck it all.