destiny

Desitiny's dreams
2008-12-01 19:18:07 (UTC)

missing you jay

ok so its been almost three months since he passed away
but i still really miss him.... is it a good thing to
blame one person with out even being 100% sure he was
there with him? the thing is is that he has a lot of guilt
and i can see it in his eyes when he comes to see me at
work.. i feel like there is something that is on his mind
something he wants to tell me.. he was the one that told
me about jay passing away but he lied to me about how he
died... he told me that jay passed away is a house fire
when in fact he had overdosed... maybe he was trying to
protect me from more heartache... maybe he didnt want me
to question him... who knows... but if he knows more then
he has lead me to believe then i want to know i need to
know maybe then i will be able to understand what happened
alittle more then what i do...see me and jay were in an
open relationship so when i found out it hit me like a ton
of bricks i didnt want to believe it... last week i found
out that it was an overdose and i was and am pissed off...
jay was sober for many moms off that shit and now hes
gone... i found out that the other guy has been back on
that shit for months but hes sober now or at least he says
he is... i know that jay was sober only because i spent
almost everyday with him for a month before he passed
away... i miss him so much... how do i confront the other
guy? how do i ask him if he was with jay the night that he
passed? this whole thing is still really confusing for me

destiny




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