PINKBABYPHAT

soul survivor
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2008-10-17 05:47:01 (UTC)

im clueless!

.. A couple of days ago I was hanging out wit steven and out of no where he was like ur my wifey. I'm like wifey and then he's like yeah. He was like I'm gonna marry u baby and I'm like no ur not and he's like how do u know? I'm like I don't. He's like then... I'm gonna marry u one day. I'm like u know there are other levels before marriage. Honestly I'm happy when I'm wit him I know he's not like cameron where cameron is always there he's clingly he's a sook and he cares in way where he's responsible. I know that cameron can give me all the things that I want in life he can support me and I know I don't have to worry financially. With steven I have to worry a lil more cause he's dealing drugs he's not stable he just gets by. I know he can get a job I don't know why he doesn't get his ticket in something. His schooling would be all paid for. I know everyone says that I'm a good influence on him cause I'm good in his life. I don't know if he can give me a life a I want! But right now I'm happy with him I miss him when I don't see him for a period of time. I'm just happy with him I know he's not the typical guy but he's someone I really like him. Its been a really long time since I've liked someone like this. I like cameron and I fell in love wit him. Right now I'm happy wit steven sure I get pissy easily when I'm wit him cause I hate the lifestyle he leads but I guess that's what I have to put up with when I'm wit him. I know he can't do this forever. But when is he going to grow up? And take responsibility for his future? Everybody is just telling me to stay wit cameron cause he can provide and actually be there for me . I know when I cross that line there's no going back I can't keep on going back and forth . Its wrong and I'm playing with fire. I have a good job a car have a good head on my shoulders. I know its not hard for me to find and be wit someone. I want someone who can fit me in life, hold me down well hold each other down. I know cam will do that for me, can steven is he willing to give up and change for the better? Bah! I don't know anymore I'm stuck in between ppl. Can I take the risk wit being wit steven and not regret wit being cam who will love me and be there wit me till death do us part? Or being wit steven will bring me down and I'm left wit nothing?


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