soul survivor
2008-10-05 02:21:17 (UTC)


I don't know why I'm so hooked on steven. When I'm wit him I get all these butterflies when I'm around him. We have this weird chemistry but it works with us. I know he can be great I just don't understand why he can't take it and run wit it. I know he's good guy I just don't like the fact that he knows it wrong then y do it. Then there's us he likes me a lot thinks about me calls me when he's in trouble goes to jail when he gets out he calls or comes and c me. I think he's a really lost soul where no one has really given him a chance. Cause no one has given a fuck. I know he carries a lot of guilt and anger cause his sister death and that his dad use to beat on him. That's why I think he's the way he his. I know he drug deals when he needs money but I believe he needs to get away from here and smarter up. The friends the drugs everything . If he doesn't stop it will be the end of him . I think I might be in love with him I have very strong feelings for him. But I know he will lead this life and will pop in and out of my life. It hurts but I like him a lot ! Question to myself WHY do I do this to myself . I don't understand out of all the guys that I've been seeing it had to be steven. I'm hooked on steveb I'm in love wit steven. I don't want to say it cause I know he would pull away from me cause he's prolly scared. I care a lot about him and I don't want him to fail. I guess I'm a sucka for love. I've met a lot of great guys and I could fall any of them but I haven't I've fallen for someone whose is totally lost and doesn't know what to do in life. I know I need someone in my life to care of me and think about me. I went through this wit chad and it totally broke me. Xcept that chad didn't leave me for drug dealing. He couldn't love me. I'm wondering if steven could love me or maybe he's even in love me but just afraid . Its like should I even say it when he comes out of jail? He's my baby he will always be the guy that I will always care about and ill always be the girl that I got away or for him to love and b wit.