Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2008-10-02 06:22:57 (UTC)

sex in the city..

I use to hate the show 'Sex in the City' because I saw it as
4 women who are single and fuck any guy they date. And when
they aren't dating someone they are miserable as fuck. But I
was watching it tonight and you know what... I think I
actually admire them. I admire that they have successful
jobs, a home, dress well and have each other.

Today I had an argument with my mother. She basically made
me feel like shit because I don't have a job. I wish I did
have a job. I wish I was saving up to move out. I honestly
cannot wait to leave. My goal is to find a decent paying
job, save up and get the fuck out of here!

I've been feeling the need to get away again, but the
feeling of moving out is overpowering that feeling. I've
been feeling angry and sad the past few days. I think I'm
also feeling this way because of the break up bullshit and
stuff with the italian boy. I cannot forget the issue with
my mother.

At the moment, I just want to be left alone. I want to hide
myself from the male species and focus on myself for a
couple of months, maybe years.

I notice at the end of a break-up or when I realize that the
person I was dealing with isn't going to happen, I tend to
think about my future. I think about how I want to be living
on my own, happy and successful. Waking up to no one, going
to bed in peace, making dinner for one, but having a room
full of my clothes and shoes! Annndddd having a car and a
job that I have a love/hate relationship with.

One day :)