Life - so complicated
2008-09-17 11:18:29 (UTC)

After freaking out...

I always have a day in the week where I freak out over my
life. This week I've had no such day. 2 weeks ago Ryan
rang me drunk and I was sleeping in the same bed as Andy.
I'm sure you can imagine what happened. Everytime Ryan
said my name I couldn't control my emotions it was like
having the love of my life within my grasp yet my arms
weren't quite long enough to reach him. Having said that,
he told me it was time to move on, and since he said those
words to me I've not thought about him once. It seems all
I needed was to hear it from him. Now I've been able to
concentrate on Andy and me and fully appreciate how
amazing a person he is. I'm going back to uni on Sunday
after an entire 3 months at home, it's what I needed.
Whether Andy and I will stand the test of time is another
matter but I'm not dwelling on it, I'm taking it one step
at a time instead of worrying about something that may or
may not happen. I do love Andy and I do trust him but I'm
not holding my breath - this, like all my other
relationships, could very easily go tits up so I need to
be careful because my heart couldn't take one more break.

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