Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
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2008-09-03 04:06:38 (UTC)

I know what I want..

I just want companionship.

On saturday night I begged my boyfriend to take me to the
zoo. His response was "i don't like animals and there's
nothing to do at the zoo."

This guy has been offering to take me to the zoo and tells
me how he loves animals! WTF! This guy also keeps asking
me to chill with him, my boyfriend only sees me once a week!

I don't know if me and this other guy will hook up, that's
besides the point here. What I'm trying to say is that I
just want my boyfriend to take me places, do things with me!
I'm getting so bored of him coming over and all he wants to
do is just make out. That's so childish! I'm so sick of it!
It's like every time
I see him, he wants a bj. Get the fuck out of here!

We went to a friend's get together, we had the chance to be
alone in my friend's room so we went. I wanted to cuddle,
but noooo. While we were starting shit, I told him we
shouldnt because everytime we're out with my friends we
always separate and do it shit. That's not nice! I could
tell he was bothered by it. But why the fuck would he care,
he probably knows he won't see them ever again.

Anyways, this guy opened my eyes to seeing what I really want.

I have a confession to make. Me and this guy went out on
monday and i had an amazing time! He's really fun and goofy!

I want to end it with my boyfriend because well.. i feel
ashamed to say it here. there's plenty of reasons also.

We promised to stay friends regardless and plus, i don't
know if i can do school and him at the same time. I dont
want to be distracted about what he's doing, or who he's
with? or why haven't we been talking/seeing eachother? ugh!
it'll just bring me down.... he still has a lot to learn.

I'm looking for something longterm.


Tomorrow I start my 3rd year of university! I'm really
looking forward to it. I have my anxiety under control and
my exam accommodations set up. This year will be amazing!

I'm back on the honors program! Taking those courses during
the summer helped me a lot! I found out this morning and
let me tell you, it boosted my confidence a whole lot!! I
can stay in honors for real now. I know what I need to
change when it comes to my study/sleep habits :)