Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2008-08-28 04:28:33 (UTC)

Wed. Aug. 27

I have a lot to write about; it's been a few days.

After trying to find a place to do volunteer service, I
finally found one that accepted me AND it's something I have
experience with it.
My expectations for this place is to meet other coordinators
my age. I need to make friends outside my circle.

I started going to this mma gym and I met a guy. Actually, I
met him before I went and he told me about it. We talk for a
bit everyday, but just msn and texting. However, I have a
boyfriend and he knows it, but he stills talks to me and
invites me to come by the gym. Do guys care if the girl is
taken? Anyways, I'm not going to think about it. I know
where I stand with my boyfriend and I love him too much.
It's cool hanging out with this guy. It's great to meet
someone who does mma! I love mma! I watch ufc all the time!!!

I start school next week and sometimes when i think about
it, i have mini panic attacks. Fuck. I hope this panic
attack bullshit goes away! It's holding me back from school
soooo much and I refuse to go on medication, but if it
continues and I'm going to have to.

Oh oh! I'm also hoping that this volunteer thing will help
me relax, open up and becomes less anxious. I think I just
need to feel confident in my our skin; to trust myself in
new situations.