Amnesia

dude
Ad 2:
2008-08-20 15:46:58 (UTC)

MP 1005, 2008.08.20

Here we are again. Writing, listening to beautiful harp
music. Nothing much going on. People have been getting on
my back about school. And by people I mean Chris. Teresa
mentioned it briefly just out of curiousity, and my mom
has asked me about it.

My plan is zilch. Right now I'd just like to apply at
Coyote and figure out what will happen there. I want it, I
really do. But only if it is as good as it once was. I
don't want to join if there is like... well if they went
down to making 200 bucks a night each, I think that that
wouldn't be bad either. Besides, if it is like that then
that just brings an opportunity to get rid of the money
hungry bartenders and get fresh blood that will configure
all be it eventually to the rest of the bartenders, and
they will be a crew. Not a bunch of phonies. I'm not
saying that that is what they are now, but I'm just saying
it used to be more packed and have a natural sort of
energy to it. Now the most recent crowd I've seen wasn't
so much people wanting to have fun, it was more of just a
bunch of men wanting to see half naked chicks dancing on
the bar. I don't even think the chicks were looking at the
Coyotes dancing. They were just doing their own thing.
That could be partially because the room they used to have
all that crazy chair action, is no longer used as that.
It's more tables now.

I don't know how I'll ever learn to spit alcohol into
somebody's mouth. Hopefully I can be more entertaining in
some other ways. I do love the music there.

When I was at Karoline's room last I saw this note I've
seen before. It had helped her get her Chemist job, and
raise this year. And I would like to utilize it to my
advantage now. Her note said:

I have a wonderful job, I provide wonderful service, I
make wonderful money.

My mantra will be the same thing except replace wonderful
wtih amazing. Cause I don't think that wonderful cuts it.
And when it comes to making wonderful money as oppose to
amazing money, I think amazing is more dazzling.

I know it is a superstition to do this, but I am shaking
that superstition off. Cause I choose not to believe in it
anymore. I want to count how much money I would be making
assuming 600 bucks a weekend. So

300 bucks a night, two nights, so that's 600, not counting
the random bartending day to come in and help out. So that
is 600 a week, which is 2400 a month. That would totally
work for school in installment payments at least. That's
my laptop payed off. nearly. Now assume I would start in
two weeks. Cause if I start as a beer tub chick I'm sure I
won't be making as amazing money... actually assume I'll
be bartending in 4 weeks. It's still just an assumption
but we need some kind of reference point. So that will be
a week into the school year already. I should get another
credit card. For the purchase of my laptop. I might
actually get denied since I have just put on 4900 bucks to
that. Hmm... I could pay that off easily if I make 2400 a
month. That would be groovy. I could afford school
lifestyle.

Okay, on the other hand, here's what else is going on. I
got into manga's now. I didn't realize how fun they are.
It's that part of my imagination that really needed to be
recultivated. The part where you get attached to this
story that you are experiencing not as a movie going on
seperate from you, but something you are a part of because
the way you read the words on the page, you make the
characters come alive, you are the one that gives them
life, and watch their stories flourish. You can't read all
day and all night till the story ends, so you have it in
your memory until the next time you meet. Like some
illusive affair your mind has with the sexy pages of the
book. I'm so jazzed about reading that story. i didn't
think I'll get so into it but I did. Partially I still
think that there is a much better one out there that I
REALLY just can't put down.

I need more books. THere is one more book required for the
film department to read. I think it is short, because that
is what it says in the title of the book. A short intro to
documentaries.

I've recalculated my current position on books and the
reading of them. I might not have put a certain book in to
play when I did my first 37 page calculation so when doing
37 pages a day it still recalculates to being 13 pages
behind, I mean, 13 days. perhaps that was when I had
creators on creating, as oppose to the rights of creative
people. Nevertheless Creators on creating is apperently
one of those books we still have to buy. All of us despite
the department. There are 4 others in that catagory as
well, but I don't know if I really have to but all of
them, if the placement test affects it in anyway. Cause if
one of those books is about English and forming sentences,
then I don't need it cause I won't be in those classes.

When I work at Coyote, and flashpoint starts, that's when
my life will truly be like riding a bike down hill with
arms wide open. Who knows what will happen, but it will be
exhilarating. When this happens, I'll have my laptop, I'll
have all of my books, I'll have time, I'll have money,
I'll have clothes, I'll have ease. I won't have to feel
guillty if I want to go to Chris's and I borrow my mom's
car, or my car and I will have money to refill the gas at
the least. In the mean time I'll be able to go out and eat
out, not worry about it. I'll be able to save money for
the condo for me and Chris, I'll pay off school in cash
for next year.

What I haven't thought of is how I'm gonna get home if I
work at Coyote on Friday coming straight from school. I
will get so tired by 1 or 2 am. The ride back home will be
a bitch. I could drive if my dad could use a different
form of transport that day. I could fetch a cab. I wonder
how much that would cost me. I could take the red line to
the blue line and take a cab from there. It is a freaking
40 minute ride. Or I could just hang out somewhere till
the morning and take the metra. Too bad Metra doesn't run
that late. THey would probably lose money that way. I
wouldn't want to have Chris pick me up because he wouldn't
all the time, and I'm sure there will be times when he
would come by and I'm doing something he doesn't like. I
would really just like to hold him at an arms distance
from that place.

Oh, me going to schoo... I mean to the library every day
with a heavy ass book bag reminds me of being home
schooled. Like just go to your local library and study
these certain items. I don't care when you get there, I
don't care how many breaks you take, as long as you get
your stuff done. That makes me feel great.

I feel great for teresa figuring out her life's goal. That
is what I'm gonna call dharma right now. Cause I know
there are other things to life besides dharma, but this
seems to be a main focal point of confusion and such.

I love my life. I have an amazing job, I provide amazing
service, I make amazing money.


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