Waka Waka Waka
Sat Morning Update
We talked a couple of times yesterday. He won't tell me
what happened Thur night, it was just all about how much he
hated me. I stopped answering the phone and he called
probably about 7 times. I texted him that I was sooooo
done and that I deserved to be treated better by a man. It
is now 3:00 am and I am fighting everything I have not to
call him. I guess I only want to call him because I know
from his tone and what he is saying that he REALLY did meet
another girl and he is with her. I don't want him when he
is drinking (which I HAVE to get through my head that he is
NEVER going to stop drinking!!!) he is a mean, verbal
abusive ass when he is drinking. But when he is sober
(which I give him credit, he does stay sober when I'm
around him) he is a wonderful man who loves me
Reasons we will never make it:
1.) You are a drunk! You told me that you went to rehab and
when I told you that you couldn't drink at all you told me
that it was ok as long as you stayed away from whiskey. ??
2.) When you are drunk you are MEAN, you will say or do
anything to "push my buttons" as you call it.
3.) You said the classic text book saying of an abusive
person "YOU make me treat you like this"
4.) Since I met you, you have been laid off from your
primary job and fired from your construction job because of
your mouth----but yet still have alot of money.
5.) I witnessed a weird phone call and I ask you if you
were selling drugs and you said that you use to but you
were not getting back into that and you didn't know why
they were calling you---LIER!!!!! I know you are lieing to
me and trying to hide it from me.
6.) You accuse me of screwing around on you all the time.
You know down deep I'm faithful---why do you keep accusing
me? Maybe because YOU are the one being unfaithful.
7.) You pulled and shook me by the back of my hair that
night, you really scared me. The back of my head hurt for
two days after that from where you yanked my hair so hard.
8.) Your always going through my cell, I never touch yours
or even want to-----I told you before I wasn't going to be
jealous anymore because if you wanted to run on me I
couldn't stop you.
9.) You CONSTANTLEY talk about other girls in front of me
and tell me if I wasn't there you would go after them and
take them home and screw them.
10) You have went in front of the law 3 times (that I have
found out about) for domestic abuse on 3 different women
you have dated, but still got off??????????
11.) Your mouth!!!! You have such a mean, forked tongue
12.) The way you took my heart after 4 years and just
shreaded it---I finally put down my walls after 4 years and
you devored my very soul.
Things that keep me:
1.) When you are sober---you are wonderful to me.
2.) When you are sober----you make me laugh with the
sayings and things you come up with---I mean belly laugh
because you really are funny and have my same sense of
humor that I do.
3.) When you are sober-----you just look at me and will
radomly reach out and play with my hair and touch the back
of my neck with such tenderness that all I want to do is
fall in bed with you and ravage you.
4.) When you are sober-------and I spend the night, you
hold me so close to you and wrap your strong arms around me
and we just seem to fit together so right. I totally feel
safe in your arms and sleep like a baby.
5.) When you are sober----The way you hold me close and
whisper "your my baby" into my neck or hair---it makes me
6.) When you are sober----and we go for ice cream or a walk
and we have such a good time talking and opening up.
7.) When you are sober----You are the one who touch my soul
and released it once again to be loved, you are the one who
thawed my heart and made it beat and feel love again for
another person---I never thought that would happen in my
life time again and I was willing to accept that as a
fact. You made me love again, believe again, hope again.
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