Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2008-07-23 16:56:35 (UTC)

july 23.08

Last night he came over after work and we chilled at my
place. I tried talking to him about how I think we should
just see where this relationship is going instead of
deciding what's going to happen 5 years down the road. He
agreed and said that is why he wanted to get back together.
We love each other so much and we both want to be involved
in each other's lives no matter what.

I was just thinking about something lately.. well more so
last night and this morning. I want to give it to him, but
there's something inside that tells me 'no'. I don't see my
life being like this at all. I see myself with someone and
only that someone forever.

To be totally honest, I don't think my boyfriend and I are
forever. uh, I felt a relief when I said that? Why?!
It's still a fresh relationship. We have a lot more to
experience before I make such a big decision. I'll just
leave it at that until... until we've been together for awhile?


Everything with school is going pretty smoothly. I received
a B in one of my courses last semester, I'm still waiting
for the results of the 2 other courses.

I probably wrote this in my previous entries, but the summer
courses I took helped me a lot with my anxiety. I took 2
courses that involved interacting with students and I was
just so lucky to have my childhood friend with me. We met
some great people and we shared a lot of laughs in the
duration of the course. It helped me to be less shy and not
so intimidated by school and the students.

I took a philosophy course the second semester of the summer
and I was really lucky to have sat beside someone who saves
me a seat or vise versa. It help me to be a lot more calm in
class and also, it's great to have someone to talk to.

I must say, I was lucky.

I hope this carries on in my other courses this year. All I
really need is to open up and just make friends and it'll
make my anxiety level decrease and make me happy overall.

I'm really looking forward to this school year, as nerdy as
that may sound. I really need to pull my socks up and finish
university right away. I really want to start working
towards being someone and just knowing what I want to do
with my life; I'm so curious!

I need to get ready for school. Only 3 more days left and I
have the rest of the summer! Bye :)