Waka Waka Waka
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2008-07-22 23:00:02 (UTC)

2 days into breakup

Boy called last night and was trying to be nice and asking
what I was doing, I told him that I finished up with the
trim and was looking for the cat, I ask him about his day
and he told me a little about it. He ask me what I did
after work and I told him, tanner, shopping, paint store.
He snorted and said "just what I thought running and
roaming around" I swear to God a chill went up my spine. I
ask him what was wrong and he said that he had to go he
would call me later. Couple of hours later he called (why
the hell am I still picking up the phone!!??) and he went
off in a tantrum, yelling at me that when he takes the time
to call and talk to me he didn't want to hear about my
fucken cat or my fucken lawn he wants to KNOW WHAT I AM
DOING!!!!!! I told him that he ask me what I was doing, I
told him what I was doing---what did he want me to say? He
started screaming that I was a dirty whore and since we
broke up I had been haveing the time of my life and why
can't I just admitt it and stop lieing, this is why he
broke up with me because I lie so much. I started to fall
right back into the same routine---baby, I am not a whore,
I never screwed around on you I loved you with all my
heart, I would never do that to someone who touched my
heart, you are my life, my heartbeat, my love. I love you
like I haven't loved in years---------(insert hearing my
voice trail off) I was stunned---he had pulled me right
back in. He kept up his yelling, and all I couldn't think
about is "what the hell just happened" I waited for when he
was through and told him that he was right I wasn't worth
all the headach and that I had to go---their was slience on
his side and I told him bye---OF COURSE he had to get one
last snip in and told me to give all of his shit to our
mutual friend but I had better not say anything to our
friend about our relationship. Last night I cried for the
last time. Today I have nothing left for him---I think the
key is to stay away from him and if I don't see him, don't
touch him, don't smell him and just let him scream at me
over the phone it made it easier to end. I've been
carrying a pic of him with me---it's not a nice pic, it was
taken by a friend when he was in a rage at me at a party
and all you can see is the devil on his face, his eyes all
wild and his mouth in a snear and me standing in front of
him with my head down looking at my feet. Whenever I think
about him, I pull that pic out and look at it, when he
calls in a couple of days trying to sweet talk me, I'm
going to be staring at that pic and knowing that I made the
right decision.