Amnesia

I don't like having this beast inside of me.

I will beat this.

I've been noticing for a while something I don't like
about myself. When it comes to my carreer I look down on
people. Like if I'm not the best... I have to be the best,
and anyone even remotely close to my achievements is a
threat. This is so wrong to think. I would like to think
of all of these people as patrons and pupils that I will
have the pleasure of working with, and bouncing off ideas.
I don't like having this beast inside of me.

Must read, relentlessly. I'm gonna have to do a reading
marathon every monday and wednesday. I'll wake up and
read, and try to figure out how much more I can figure
out, how many more pages I can do this day then the last
time. Those are the days I know I'll have a lot of peace
because the boyfriend is away and I'm here. this month
especially gotta do that. though I am very excited with
each movie that I watch of more stuff to gain knowledge of.