Amnesia

dude
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2008-07-09 20:39:39 (UTC)

Bad dream that made me cry

So I was running this company and working with idiots
pretty much. Next thing I know I'm getting married to
Chris. But Chris got mad at me, and left our wedding.
Everyone was gone. My parents were about to leave to. (My
parents were Mr. Feeney from Boy meets world, and some
cougar.) One or two people were hanging around. They went
to use the bathroom inside this mall. That was the closest
thing to use. I was crying my eyes out. One other girl
walked out of the bathroom. I don't know the face, but I
knew she was like a tight friend.

For some reason there was like this big orgy going on in
there. And I was suppose to be involved but I wasn't down.
I got in but I felt it wasn't right so I got out. I think
I did have sex with mr. feeney though. Chris might have
walked in on that. Not that I would ever do that. I don't
know why that happened in my dream. I would never cheat.

But everybody left, and they went far. Everybody moved
away. Far away. I cried till I woke up teary eyed, and
cried some more. Called Teresa back told her most of the
story. The sex parts and the work thing before hand
started to fade fast. It's not something I usually
remember.

It was so strange. When I was working, it was as crowded
as in an old school newspaper editing room. After the
wedding, it was clear fields and no more then 6 people
total, and never all together.

Why this dream?

Well, the sex might have come from the lack of sex I've
been getting lately. Linked to my fight with Chris. Which
sounds like the reason he left in the wedding. The whole
wedding thing must've come from our conversation with his
bud (that I forced) about careers. (Could also be the
reason why I didn't see them on the work force side)

His bud was trying to convince us to live in Las Vegas
with him. I would be down if there was nothing holding me
back like a 2 year school commitment. Chris is down for it
though. And I was encouraging him for some reason. Like I
want him to follow his urges. But I guess from the dream,
I don't want him to go at all.

I guess Mr. Feeney came in to all of this because him and
that guy from Tool Time, were the top advice givers
growing up. The vision of the wise old man is embodied in
his image.

Recently since the whole deal with the fight and
everything, I told Chris he needs to get his shit
together. I don't know what came over me. Was it me, was
it another nagging side of me that I never let out,
because it is how I would of liked to act, but I really
wouldn't do. I was considering being with someone else
actually because of the fight and because of his carreer
less life.

(Although when I got home I started thinking how maybe I'm
wrong. Maybe I am just trying to see things my way. Maybe
Chris really is happy where he is, and after he gets a
condo then he'll start thinking about other stuff. So many
people in this life don't know what they want to do with
their life, it's okay to love them. It's just hard to
relate cause I'm not one of them.)

So what does this mean?


Wedding

To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning
or transition in your current life. Dreams involving
weddings are often negative and highlight some anxiety or
fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow,
or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your
issues about commitment and independence.

To dream that you are getting married to your current
spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness.
It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may
also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are
entering in your life.

To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone
you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your
masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional
phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between
your aggressive side and emotional side.

If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending
wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a
wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with
family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of
independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams.
Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms
have dreams about their ceremony and things going
perfectly.
___________

So from this defenition of Wedding, I take it that my fear
or anxiety in my current relationship is that I'll cheat
on him and he will leave me. Also that as soon as I reach
that level of independence everyone will leave.


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