Waka Waka Waka
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2008-06-23 03:11:01 (UTC)

Am I doing this to our relationship---is it me!!!!

For the first time ever I am leaving my oldest with my
youngest over night to be with Boo---We want to be with
each other but I don't want him around my kids yet so I'm
going to his place every weekend (it is also the summer
place to be) I never stay long, I pretty much spend the
night and am gone home to my boys by 8:00 am in the
morning. I told him Sat morning that I had plans at noon
to go to a party in our town and I didn't know what time I
would be done, he ask me if I was coming up to his place
that night because he wanted to go out with the guys if I
was going out with the girls and I told him that I didn't
want to go to the bar to just leave the back door open and
I would come over and go to sleep and when he got home he
got home, he didn't want to leave the door open and wanted
to give me a key which put us in to a tiny fit because I
told him I didn't want a key or even be known that I had a
key and that I didn't think a key was a good idea (makes it
seem to much "A COUPLE") I only drank a beer at the party
Sat because my stomach was acting up and came home and
spent time with the boys and called him about 9:00 pm and
he seemed surprised that I was done parting (the party
started at noon)I was home by 3:00 and he was pretty much
WASTED and slurring and he ask me what I was going to do
and that he wanted me to be with him that night, I told him
that I wanted to go up to the neightborhood bar and listen
to their band because it was a new group of younger kids
and I wanted to hear it and he said that he was to drunk,
and for me to go by myself if I wanted----WEEELLLLLLLLL, if
that is not a "HERE YA GO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY??!!!)
So I told him that I would go there by myself, and I did go
their by myself! It was PACKED!!!! I talked to the owner
and she ask me where he was and I said home drunk and she
said that he had been in there earlier for a couple of
hours and was getting "mean drunk" and for me to be

Now this is a point I want to make, I was dressed very
pretty, but my shirt has an open back and I made sure I ask
my friends if it look good on me or tramping and they all
said how good it looked on me because on my back bones
showing so much, I left the bar and went to his place and
walked in and he was smiling when I walked in and then his
face changed and he said that I looked like a slut and did
I have a good time by myself at the bar. I WAS PISSED!!!!
I told him I didn't look like a slut, I was dressed very
nice (it was a flowing tank top from Victoria Secret) I was
pissed and kept my mouth shut and he kept trying to bait me
into a fight asking why I was so quiet. After about
watching him drown two more beers I took the next one out
of his hand and told him we were going to bed! Usually we
snuugle but that night we both slept on opposite sides of
the bed, truthfully, I would have just drove my ass home
when he passed out if I wasn't so tired. We woke up the
next morning and I was pissed at myself to see that I was
snuggled up next to him so I moved away from him which woke
him up and he pulled me close and ask why I was being such
a witch---I told him what he said to me the night before
and I really do think that he was telling the truth when he
said that he didn't remember saying that to me and he
didn't mean it and he couldn't even tell me what shirt I
had on when I got there. He even told two of his friends
that called that he was really drunk last night and was
rude to me and how I took control and took away his beer
and made us go to bed. When he is sober all I hear is him
sing praise to me to his friends (who know me before him)
so he better be careful what he is saying!! and he tells me
tha this family see's my car there and they want to meet me
and how much he tells them that I am "A dream come true"
YEAH,RIGHT!!! I really like him (not sure why but I see
alot of my personality in him) but unless I can get him to
stop drinking so much I don't thing it will work. I
understand it is summer, I understand you have no wife or
kids, I understand that it is a summer party place----but
there is more to life than partying!!!!!

We had sex----I admitt it!!!! I wanted to wait but we had
been out drinking and we were all over each other and it---
SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I chalked it up as "first time sex"
I hadn't had sex in a long time so I thought it was that.
We had sex again and it-----------SUCKED!!!!!!! Basically--
-YOU REALLY SUCK AT SEX!!!!!!!!!! I mean,really, really,
really suck at sex!!! Like HELLO HERE I AM!!! IT IS NOT
END____YOU SO SUUUUUUUUCKKKKK AT SEX!!!!!! How can you look
sooooooooo goooood, with a body like that and suck SO BAD
AT SEX???!!!!!!!! So where are we at today???? I'm hopeing
that he is dumb enough to believe that I am on a month long
period so that I can get out of sex with him.