My Aphrodisiac
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2008-06-01 20:53:11 (UTC)

Movin' on up!!

I went to church today and found myself in tears. Not just
a single tear streaming down my cheek, but TEARS! God
definitely spoke to my heart. Cliche sounding I know...but
he did.

For the last week or so I've been having trouble going to
sleep, staying asleep and all. I popped 2 Valiums on two
separate incidents just to fall asleep and stay asleep.
That's another story though. It's weird because when you
wake up at four o' clock in the morning and you're wide
awake, it's instantaneous to think something is wrong. Who's
hurt? What happened? Ya' know. But my spirit was just in
discomfort. Period. I think it has to do with the new job.
I mean, it's cool. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful. But I
want so much more! I can honestly say that the 9-5 b.s. is
not me! I want to do something that I'm passionate about.

Like, I loved working with people and seeing my hard work
and dedication pay off. The pay just stunk, I had no
benefits, executive management was on some bitch shit and
much more. BUT, the never know the impact you
may have on a persons life. It's a beautiful thing.
Beautiful feeling. I went to the BBQ for HPC on friday and
saw my old clients and what all they had to say really
touched my heart. A sista was in TEARS! (I dunno if it's the
new B.C. I'm takin' or what, but a sista will cry very easily)

So, the new job....yeah. It's whatever. Totally different
from what I'm used to. Like, they're so organized, low-key
money hungry (I work in Dev. & Fundraising), office is hella
quiet, and I dunno...I can't put my finger on it. But I'll
ride it out til' somethin' even better comes along. I'm
going to learn all there is to learn. That's for sure. God
has a plan for my life.

Back to church. So, the beginning of the sermon,
pastor gave us a card. Told us not to open it until he tells
us to. He was preaching out of Isaiah. Finally, we open
it. and it says somethin' to the effect of,
"Congratulations! You're going to the next level!" It has a
ladder and on the top of it reads: FAITH. Man, I feel it! I
do. I know there is so much more God has for me. He just
requests that we tell him the desires of our heart and they
will come to pass according to His riches and glory. Got me
over here preachin'. But yeah I'm gonna believe. Got to.
It's gotta get better than this. So, from this moment
forward, I'm a GOAL-DIGGER! Preach! lol. Anyhow, til' the
next episode...

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