Underdogs and Tidal Waves

Southside of Mellow
2008-05-09 14:31:30 (UTC)

Rather Live My Life in Regret Than Do This

I sense a hint of elitism in the way he speaks.
Because I don't live the life I once used to filled with
wanton recklessness, alcohol brimming to the core, every
evening, while he now lives the indulgent life I once used to.
Such a life has grown tired boring to me. I don't need
parties, alcohol, or meaningless flings to validate my life
anymore. There's a certain point you hit where you realize
there's so much more to life than just fucking around.
Listening to all these parties doesn't impress me.
I've been there.
None of that means anything to me anymore.
I think the way I used to live my life has an influence
tugging at him to follow in that way in order to seem
impressive to me.
I don't give a shit. I really don't. It only causes a
distance. Ever since highschool, he's always had to do
things to try to inflate his sense of character and
confidence, which is a large part of the reason why I never
dated him.
He invited me to his formal over in the city. I can't afford
to drop an extra 200 dollars in expenses.

I have no warm feelings left.
I don't feel bad that spending my summer finishing up my
novel, relaxing, and dodging ex-friends.
I keep having nightmares about them.
They're a part of the life I don't care for anymore.

Let's be honest, I don't give a fuck about anything anymore.
The sooner I cut ties, the better.





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