Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2008-05-02 04:44:23 (UTC)

Understand me please.

I get irritated quickly.
I get scared in a matter of seconds.
I nap to get rid of the fear.
I over analyze everything.
I'm scared of being alone outside the city.
I'm scared of riding the subway.
I hate being in a crowded place.
I hate knowing people are looking/thinking about me.
I jog to help me calm down.
Sometime I cry.


I hate being scared. Especially when I don't know what it is
the scares me all the time. I want this bullshit anxiety to
leave me the fuck alone. My behaviour is different, but I
don't know if my friends will understand. I get irritated by
them so quickly, I'm scared that one day i'm just going to
lash out at someone and they won't know whats wrong with me.
This isn't something i want to tell everyone. Although it
would help them understand me more. But no.

I have to go to the doctor to do some blood work to make
sure that there's nothing else effecting my stomach.


Besides that.. I'm sick. I have a cold and i feel like
crap. I haven't gone to the gym in 2 days. I want to buff up
yo!! lol no. I want to get toned :( this cold is getting in
the way!!! Ahh.. anyways. I've been waiting online for hours
for my boyfriend to go online, but God knows which country
he's in right now :(

I miss you.




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