Tae

I drink Alone
2008-04-17 21:25:13 (UTC)

Me.

I've had this "diary" for a couple years now, but looking
back through it I can see it's pretty damn sketchy and
vauge alomst everywhere. There's a huge part of the past 3-
4 years that I've either ignored or forgot.
Sometimes these memorys resurface and it's hardly ever
comforting.
Maybe that's the point now, these people who think they
know who I am. The story of "my life" that I've etched for
them makes these people, these so called friends think
they have me all figured out.
Well fuck all that. Im not the idiot, the sheltered, the
stupid little girl we all assume me to be.
I'm not saying I've been through hell because thankfully
my life HAS been a overall good one. I've always had
someone around to try.
The things I'm talking about I put myself through. Things
I couldn't talk about anymore even to myself without being
filled with so much self-hatred that I'm afraid of where
it'd lead me.
How do I explain this to anyone when I cant explain it to
myself anymore?
I think this is the problem I'm having with my friends, my
family, and my husband.
They don't know how I feel because they don't know how
much I despise myself.




Ad: